Smoke and Mirrors {Completed}

Chapter One: Soft Flower

Sapphire Nightborne

I hugged my legs close to my chest as my body shook, waves of heat washed over me yet it felt like I had ice in my veins. My chest moved up and down as I gasped for breath, I was not being suffocated but yet it as though someone had their hands around my lungs, slowly crushing the air out of them. I kept my eyes closed and my head between my legs and chest because when I opened them I only saw darkness with small spots of light, and even when they cleared for those brief moments all I could see was the four walls of my room closing in on me, trapping me.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around my middle, slowly pulling my chest away from legs and my head from in between them, large warm hands found my smaller cold ones, unfurling them from the clenched position they were in. No words were spoken as I was hoisted on to a lap and was slowly rocked, the only sound that could be heard was a soft humming as I was rocked, the vibrations from his throat provided a certain comfort for me, the beat of his heart assuring me that I was not alone.

This was not the first time this had happened and I was sure that it would not be the last, almost every night had me waking up feeling like I was suffocating, the first time this happened I thought I was dying, that this was actually how it was going to end, I was going to die without avenging my family. The worst part was that I could not even call for help, my body had become my cage, I had no control of it anymore as I sat there on the hardwood floor, which was where I had collapsed after trying to stand, tears dripping down my face. This was how Xander found me, he came into my room saying that he heard my erratic heartbeat and wanted to see if I was okay, I could not even bring my face up to look at him, he immediately fell silent, no bombarding of questions on why I was in this state just actions, he picked me up in his arms and carried me to my bed where he just sat with me and hummed a lullaby till I fell asleep in his arms, I would wake up the next morning with just myself in my room knowing that when night came this would be repeated again.

The worst part was just it was not just night, this happened when I trained as well. There were a few times where I had asked some of the Pack Warriors to spar with me but during the middle of it, I would feel the waves of heat come over me before my throat seized up and I would collapse to the ground. It was as if my mind was never at peace, at night it was plagued with nightmares that were so vivid and clear that I had to assure myself they weren't real, this caused me to sometimes try and forgo sleep and spend the nights in the library reading up on battle strategies used by packs in the past. I managed to stay up for three nights in a row before I almost fell on my own spear during training, which was the last straw for Chloe, she dragged me as well as Xander to the Chief Healer.

"You don't seem comfortable here, Sapphire."

I smiled sheepishly at the Chief Healer, a matronly woman who had a kind smile, that smile was on her face as she caught me looking at my surroundings with disgusts. I had developed an intense dislike for 'Healing Rooms' as it reminded me of when I had returned from the dead and what I woke up too.

"Just bad experiences."

She nodded and smiled but her eyes told me that she did not buy my story.

We began to tell her about my anxiety attacks and how they just seemed to appear out of nowhere, granted I knew it was linked to what I had experienced at the hands of Damien and the two goddesses but what confused me was the fact that they were all happening now, I had absolutely no panic attacks during my stay at the Black Blood Pack even though I was exposed to so much trauma.

"She was fine even in the forest when we were running away from my brother's men."

Guilt filled my heart as I stared at Chloe who was gesturing with her hands to try and explain the situation, the dark shadows beneath her eyes visible.