Jordan Taylor › Rick Grimes F.F

› Twenty-Seven / Regretful Looks ‹

Chapter Twenty-Seven // {jordan's pov}

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Rick and Michonne were leading our group, talking in hushed voices. Daryl followed them not too far behind and then there was Carl.

I didn't know what happened to Carl last night. From listening in on Michonne's conversation with Daryl. Someone attempted to do what they did to me, to him. Attempted.

I'm so thankful that it didn't happen to him. A child.

I was trailing behind everyone, leaving a fair distance between us.

Rick originally tried to get me to keep up with him, but I never really replied.

Why the hell do we bother surviving in this world, to be honest? What do we get out of waking up each day, hunting for food, trying to find water, killing the undead who are trying to kill you and sleep with one eye open? What's the point?

I looked ahead to see that Carl had stopped and turned around to face me. Everyone else was still going.

I finally made it to where he was and he started walking beside me.

"Dad's unhappy," he commented, looking straight at Rick. I hummed in acknowledgment.

"I mean, every time he glances your way when you're not looking, regret fills his eyes. Why?" he spoke with confidence and determination. He could easily pass as an adult if it weren't for his size. By the way Carl spoke, he wanted to know why desperately. I didn't know how to explain though.

I sighed.

"I don't know," I lied. How was I supposed to tell a 15 year old kid that I was sexually assaulted by some man and his Dad blames himself for it.

"You do," he replied frowning.

"Car-,"

"No! Why the fuck can't I know? Oh wait -- because I'm a 'kid?' It can't be as bad as what you're making it out to be!" he yelled angrily, causing Rick to stop and turn around. Michonne and Daryl glanced to see what Rick was looking at.

A sob passed my lips as the memories resurfaced of the night before.

 Rick started striding over to us, "Carl."

"No Dad! She's overreacting about some bullshi-," Rick cut him off. Michonne looked at Carl with widened eyes.

"Carl! Shut it!" Rick yelled at Carl, trying to reach me. I put my hand out to push him away.

He finally reached me and pushed my hand down. He wrapped his arms around me and I let out another sob. Finally allowing the tears to fall. Rick smelt like safety and that's all I really needed right now.

I knew that Carl was mad about what had happened and he happened to take it out on me. I could hear Carl saying something to Michonne.

I pulled away from Rick slightly to turn to Carl. Rick carefully grabbed my hand and squeezed it.