The Mechanic

TWENTY NINE

"Jesus Christ," I groaned miserably as soon as I opened my eyes. I shut them close again, tears poised to fall because of the striking pain in both sides of my head. It's like a tight belt had been wrapped around my forehead and was being pulled tighter, slowly squeezing my veins.

This is probably the nastiest headache I've ever had.

While gently massaging my head to feel a bit of comfort, scenes from last night flooded in like I was watching a movie in front of me. The party, the overflowing drinks, the jello-s which were practically devils in disguise, and Harry.

Harry. His name popped in my brain and the haziness suddenly went away. Wait. Where am I?

I squinted, trying my best to ignore the terrible pain. I saw an alarm clock beside me, showing me the time. 4:45 PM.

I looked around me and it hit me. I'm actually in my room.

How did I end here? Last thing I remember was Harry's slow breathing on top of me as he kissed my cheeks.

Heat enveloped me after recalling what went down between the two of us last night. His confessions, my declaration of feelings, the steamy and burning sex which was so different compared to the ones we did before. It was ...it was kinda romantic. God, not kinda. It was indeed romantic. Like it was our first time to be skin on skin and to share a single bed. The hunger and thirst was different last night. Even Harry's actions were new to me. His flaming gaze, his tender touch, his firm kiss...everything. He handled me with so much care like I was the most delicate thing in the world, like he was so afraid that he's gonna break me into small pieces.

Before Harry knocked on the door, I already made up my mind for the nth time. I realized that I shouldn't be wasting my tears and time to Harry. He was so confusing and he was already hurting me so much. He kissed Carly in front of me and then sang a song while dropping hints that it was for me. He kept on making me feel special, but he was also fast enough to make me feel like shit by making out with other girls and treating me differently when we're surrounded with other people. What kind of a sick bastard plays with people's feelings like that?

I told myself that I had enough. He was unhealthy for me. But then he showed up and I almost gave in when I saw his worried face.

Thank God I successfully controlled my mouth. My tongue was itching to blurt my deepest feelings but then I was thinking, what's the point? So I said things to him that I didn't really mean. I guess it was because I was so mad at him and his games. I told him that I didn't need him while in fact it was him I always think about every second of my day.

I wasn't expecting Harry to erupt like that last night. But to be honest, his confessions about what he truly feels for me didn't surprise me. A part of me had been seeing the signs since God knows when. I wasn't numb, but I didn't want to grip on hope because he could be really confusing. His revelations didn't stun me that much, but his facial expressions did.

When people confess their feelings, we would usually see relief in their eyes. But not with Harry. He looked more worried, restless and shattered. Like his feelings for me was such a huge mistake. He kept on telling me that I didn't deserve a person like him and it broke me. I mean, dammit Harry. You just let your heart out in front of me and you'll tell me that we can't be together 'cause I don't deserve you? What kind of fucked up reason was that?

I was actually pissed. But he looked so broken and lost and I just wanted to know why. What was holding him back? I could sense that he had reasons and I could feel that he wasn't ready to tell me everything. But I was ready to wait. The moment he told me that he needed me, I made up my mind. I would not leave his side. I would wait for him to completely let me in. I was ready to jump in his boat and to sail with him.