Colors

Sixteen

After a week I stopped waiting at the hill for Mitch. 

After two weeks I stopped expecting him to turn up at my door. 

After three weeks I stopped crying from the ache of my heart, choosing to push it all down and ignore everything instead. 

After four, I was in crisis. 

I couldn't understand the reasoning behind the purple, it wasn't due to me spending too much time around him, because it spread faster than ever once he left. I woke every morning to sheets that held only my body, though I could still picture his outline as he laid with me. I could still see his every breath and every small freckle that littered his face. My parents constantly insisted that I spent time with Kirstie and I loved her to death but I kept seeing him in her actions. His smile, his hands, his dreams. Any conversation with her was always similar to one that I'd have with Mitch, her openness and view of the world mirrored his and it made my heart shake.  

I lived in a world that was full of colours, blue everywhere I looked, but it may as well have been in black and white. Mitch was all of the colours you'd ever need. He was the brightness and the darkness, the red and the blue, the green yellow and orange. He was the purple slowly creeping over my body and into my soul. 

School was probably the hardest. I could no longer get changed during gym without the chance of people finding out, I could no longer raise my hand due to the fear of my shirt lifting or my sleeve falling down and to top it all off, the weather was getting hotter. Let me tell you, wearing sweaters during spring is not a fun thing. Everyone knew that too, I hadn't gone a day without hearing 'take that off, you're even making me hot!' or 'aren't you dying in that?' Yes, figuratively I am. However, I would literally be dying if I took it off. 

There was a point where I got so desperate that I stole some of Lauren's foundation and tried to cover the purple, but it just wouldn't work. I'd have to use at least four layers before it concealed anything, and by then I'd sweated it all off. I returned the makeup and stood in front of my bedroom mirror, breathing deeply and trying to think of a solution. The lilac had spread from my chest down my arms and to my forearms, threatening to slip and cover my hands. That was when I would really be in trouble. Covering your arms, fine. But hands? No way. 

Just then my phone vibrated and I moved quickly to answer the call that was coming in. 

"Hey Dorothy." 

"Beyonce, hey!" 

"What's up Mr Underwood?" I fell down onto my bed with my mobile to my ear, forgetting about everything that was going on and just enjoying the voice I knew so well. 

"Not much, I was just wondering... Tomorrow's Friday and my parents are going on another fancy cruise for the weekend... Do you want to have a sleepover at mine?" 

"I'd love that! We need to finish the notes for English though, so can we do that too?" 

"Homework? Who's taken my best friend?!" Alex mocked, and I could envision him with a hand swiped over his forehead acting like he was about to pass out. The familiar image made me crack a smile and let out a small chuckle. 

"Shut up, we both know it needs to be done... And I seriously need to pick up my grades..." 

"Has someone been distracting you?" 

"No." I felt my heart bend and break in that moment and I bit my bottom lip, remembering that Alex didn't know and that he was just messing with me. "I've been trying my best, really. But that witch I have as a teacher... I swear I need help."