Imperfect Fear

Sixteen

It feels like I've barely been asleep for a few minutes when I wake up. My head is pounding and my whole body aches. Especially my hand. I pull myself out of bed and examine the injury.

Overnight it has gotten worse. Ribbons of blue, purple and brown stretch over the back of my hand and my wrist. It seems to have swollen to twice its regular size, and when I compare it to my left hand, the bones definitely don't look at the same.

I walk to my chest of drawers and dig around for a pair of stretchy long socks using my good hand hand. When I find them, I unfurl them and put the end of one in my mouth. Shoving my disgust away, I start wrapping it with my good hand firmly around my wrist. I had hurt my ankle before and done this, so I couldn't be too wrong in my medical ways.

When I'm finished wrapping, I tuck the end of the sock under itself and try ignore the lingering taste of foot from my mouth.

I put the odd sock back in the drawer and get dressed carefully, avoiding moving my hurt hand. I can move my arm a bit now it's secure but I still don't want to hurt it any more.

When I am dressed, I take a quick look at my schedule then head to breakfast. I am starving. I forgot to have dinner last night so the last meal I had was breakfast yesterday at the hospital.

When I reach the cafeteria, the familiar sound of chatter reaches my ears. Usually I would dread talking to anyone but today things are different. Despite my sore hand and hangover, I'm in a good mood. I walk in and go straight up to get food. As I'm standing in the queue, Tala comes up behind me.

"Hey Mae." She greets with a grin. I smile back.

"Hey Tala. How are you?" I ask.

"A lot better then I was this time yesterday, that's for sure." She says, throwing me what I take as a thankful smile.

I nod. "Did you talk to Therei?"

A sheepish grin rises to her face. "We did some talking, yeah." She quickly changes the conversation topic, making me feel that taking wasn't all that they did. "What about you? How was your night?"

I smile. "It was actually really good, which is weird because at the time it felt pretty average. I had sewerage patrol with Tyran and you know how pleasant sewerage patrol is, but it wasn't actually that bad."

She grins. "Yeah? What made it so good?"

I frown, trying to put my feelings into words. "I guess I don't quite understand it. Really, it should have been pretty bad. Tyran and I practically hate each other and I hurt my wrist. Yet.. It felt like such a good night because on the most part, it left me feeling happy."

She nods. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Happiness deserves to be acknowledged just as it is. You shouldn't need a reason to be happy."

We reach the front of the line and I collect my sloppy, dull breakfast. Tala and I wordlessly find an empty table and sit down. I don't hesitate to dig into the food and soon enough I'm finished. Tala looks lost in thought, smiling as she eats hers.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask and she looks surprised, then her cheeks flush red.

"Nothing." She says, too quickly. She takes another bite of her food looking sheepish now. I watch her and she avoids my gaze for a moment, then almost as if she is annoyed at herself she shakes her head. "You know what, I wasn't thinking about nothing. I was thinking about my girlfriend, Therei."

For a moment, I don't think I hear her right then I see the pride on her face and I grin. I would be surprised, but after yesterday's conversation, I can tell how much Tala cares about Therei and I'd be more shocked if they weren't any more than friends.