Imperfect Fear

Seventeen

We walk in silence until we exit the Black Block. The sun is setting and everything is bathed in a beautiful orange glow, making me feel light and fluffy. Suddenly, the silence between me and Tyran seems inappropriate. We step into the orange sunlight and together watch as the sun slowly drops.

"Man, that's beautiful." Tyran mutters and I nod. The sky is different shades of purple and pink and orange, and the colour filtering through the dome just looks incredible. Most whites avoid this time of day, when everything is colourful, but all the blacks knew they were missing out. I would rather be a black my whole life than never be allowed to see something like this.

I watch as the sky changes as the sun starts slipping behind the horizon, then look over at Tyran to find he is watching me with a smile on his face. It isn't a cruel smirk, but rather a genuine gesture of happiness at seeing something so beautiful. I smile back at him then start walking again in the direction of the nearest CD entrance. Tyran follows, and this time, we walk beside one another.

"Can you believe that the Complex tries to hide us from that? That they believe beauty makes you unstable?" I ask, shaking my head in disbelief. Tyran nods.

"I know. The bullshit the complex tells us is unbelievable." He says.

I nod, unsure of what else to say, so we slip back into silence. We reach an entrance to the CD and encounter a problem. Just like last night, I can't use the ladder because of my injured hand. Tyran just purses his lips and steps onto the ladder, then gestures for me to climb down into his arms. I do so, and like last night, we make our way down the ladder together. It's longer this time and I almost fall multiple times, but eventually in a haze of relief, we reach ground again and turn to the door.

"You need to go to the hospital about that, Maedana." Tyran mutters. I just nod wearily. He was right.

The gas comes hissing out and Tyran doesn't wait for anyone to come get us but instead just pushes open the door. Light fills my vision and he turns back to me and smiles softly.

"Come on, Mae." He says and offers his hand. I hesitate for a moment then take his hand and step into the CD. Reese is in the back of my mind but I don't let myself think about her too much. I can't let grief control me anymore.

Tyran lets go of my hand and leads me into the CD. People pass us in the halls and stare at me. Tyran glances back at me a few times to make sure I am following. I smile at him, wondering where we are going. I suspect he is taking me to the CD head, where I was taken last time. But to my surprise, he pulls me to a large cafeteria-like room. I think I recall being in here a few times when I was younger. It is full of people in black, white and even some in grey. Tyran gestures for me to follow him to a table with a few jugs of some sort of dark brown liquid next to rows of cups. Tyran grabs a cup and fills it with the liquid then hands it to me and pours another cup for himself. I stare at the drink suspiciously. Was it alcohol? Why was there so much of it? Tyran starts drinking his cup then stops to look at me expectantly. I look at the drink for a moment, then drink it.

I almost spit it out straight away. The horrible taste brings back my memory. This was the stuff that made you stay awake.

"That's just as bad as I remember it." I mutter.

Tyran smirks and finishes drinking his cup. Not wanting to feel tired later, I drink the rest of my own, pushing aside my disgust.

Tyran takes my cup and places it on another table then turns to look back at me with a serious expression.

"I apologise, Maedana, but I need to speak with someone. Just wait here and I'll be right back." He doesn't wait for me to respond but slips away, heading for a table of middle aged men and women in grey. I awkwardly watch him for a moment then look at the rest of the room. I'm not surprised to see a few faces watching me with curious expressions.