Miss Me; When I'm Gone (editing)

CHAPTER 43 (Travis)

Travis

When the door closed behind me, I drop my bag and ent over, bracing my hands on my knees to suck you now. Reminding myself that she had to work through it even though it was hard. Leaving her... Oh, God, I couldn't just fucking leave her. She was in a goddamn corner looking completely destroyed, and I didn't know why.

Each breath hurt. The tightness in my chest is like a vice grip on my lungs. My heart was in that apartment. Walking away without it seemed impossible. But if I was going to get a chance at a future with Blair, she had to let me in. The past wanted her. It was controlling her. That mother fucking low life scum done this to her. I thought I could hold her through it all and give her so much love should overcome it. But those Demons were in there they are in her eyes.

All I was doing was helping her pretend they weren't there. I was helping her destroy them and overcome them. My love wasn't enough. I wanted to be. God, I wanted it to be enough. But she needed to find the strength inside herself. When she did, she would except that I love to. But I daughter. But I wanted her and all the shit no past. I want to do everything. Standing up, I winced the pain.

I didn't walk to my truck. Instead, I went to Allens apartment. I couldn't leave her without knowing someone was watching over her. When she needed me to rescue her, someone had to call me. I knew she never would. She might not want me, but I'll be damned if I'd let her need me. Knocking on Owens door, I tried to take a deep breath. But I couldn't. The Dawson open, and you smile immediately turned into a frown.

"Travis?"

He had been expecting someone else. I didn't really want to think about that, considering he was wearing a pair of red silk pyjama pants and his chest was bare and oiled.

"She wants me to leave. No, she ordered me to leave," I corrected myself.

"But I need you to call me if you need anything. Don't let her suffer. She may think she doesn't want me, but I'll drop anything to get to her."

Owen sagged against the door. He looked let down.

"Well, shit. What is in that girls head? She's crazy about you."

It was her past. Those fucking demons in her memory. But I couldn't tell him that.

"She needs me, you call me. I'll be there."

He nodded. I'll get the handle of my bag and for back the emotion. This was it. I was leaving her.

"Watch over her. Make sure she is safe and locked in at night. Don't want to walk to work. Don't want to walk home, either. Keep it safe for me. Please." I was begging him. But at this point, I beg anyone.

Tears filled his eyes. "Shit. That girl," he shook his head.

"She's got something you passed she's hiding, but it's dark. I've seen in her eyes. She call you. She loves you."

I hope to God he was right.

"When I'm gone, she need someone. Be that someone."

He wiped at his tears, then nodded. "I will."

"Thanks."

I headed a back to the stairs and to my truck. I tossed  my bag onto the backseat and paused before I got inside. Don't leave without telling her. I stopped back to the door with a purpose and knocked. She didn't come, but I waited.

"Blair. I know you hear me," I said to through  door.

I knocked again, but she didn't answer.

"I'm leaving. You want me to go, so I'll go. But know that I love you. I will love you the rest of my life. If you don't call me, I'll still be there in California loving you."

I waited, but she never came to the door. After several minutes, I knew she wasn't coming. She's going to let me do this. Unable to stop myself, I banged on the door with my fist one more time and you as loudly as I could, "I love you, Blair Montgomery! I love you so fucking much!"

I heard a door open next door, but i didn't look at whoever  it was. I waited outside her door, hoping she'd  open it.

But she didn't.