A Never Ending Sorrow

Mourning Star

Jayy's POV

I ran straight into Skye's room. The lights were dim as always and that same feeling of regret hit my stomach as soon as I saw her. If her hair wasn't so long, you'd think time never passed in this room.

I was interrupted by my thoughts when the doctor walked past me with his same clipboard and white lab coat. "Come. Sit." he beckoned. "Feel here, along here cheeks."

"Doc, I understand the situation but..."

"Please, maybe you can bring her back. This is the first sign of any consciousness since she was brought back all that time ago. I don't know that she can hear us, but I did take an MRI just an hour ago and we're finally getting atleast, a little activity. Please talk to her, hold her hand, do whatever you can think of. But if you really want her back, now is the time to try."

"I don't mean to be so negative, but why now? What makes you think I can make a difference now? For two years I've been begging, praying for her to wake up. Even now it seems hopeless."

"Then she will surely die."

"WHAT!?"

"I didn't want to bring it up, but just before the MRI, her heart stopped beating for almost 6 minutes. That's when we discovered the tears pouring down her face. Either you can continue sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, or you can use the last bit of hope left in you to try and save her, otherwise, we may as well pull..."

"Then maybe we should!" I shouted through tears.

"Jayy, I know you are hurting. And I'm so, so sorry for that, but there's a better chance of her waking up now, than there has ever been. Just... Just think about it okay?"

He left me there, without another word. I didn't want to try anymore. It seemed so hopeless. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't be selfish anymore. I need to pull the plug. She's suffered long enough. Slowly, I made my way to her bed, where she has lied lifeless for so long. And that's when I lost it. Through tears and heartache, I sang to her one last time, not because I thought she was going to wake up, just because I remembered how much she loved my voice. I had wrote this for her almost three months ago, I figured now was a good time to share it with her...

"I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be with me when you're gone

I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be with me when you're...

We were caught up in the moment and now that moment's passed
And I believe our last memory was the best that we could have
I put my head up on your shoulder and asked why life is this way
You said it's not for me to worry about and we'll meet again some day

How can you be so selfish?
I don't fucking understand
How can you tell me you're leaving?
And I'm left here to move on and I can't

They're gonna have to throw me in with you
When they put you in the ground
'Cause I ain't letting go, there's no way
Over my dead body I'm not letting you back out

I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be with me when you're gone

I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be with me when you're gone

It's hard to look you in the face
Without thinking of those better days
Time has passed, so much has changed
It isn't fair, there's too much pain

And when I feel like I'm breaking down
Your voice finds me when I can't be found
It picks me up but it leaves me sad
While I'm still hurt, I'm still fucking mad

I'd like to look death in the face
I'd knock him out and I'd take your place
But there's nothing I can do
This life is empty without you

But I leave you with this final song
To pay my respects and I say goodbye
Though the tears fall down my face
I still refuse to cry

I wish it was wrong but I know that it's time...

I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be with me when you're gone

I know I'll never be alone
I'll always keep you in this song
No matter where I go
You'll still be... with me... when you're..."

I sighed, it just hurt too much. "I'm sorry Skye. I couldn't save you. I miss you so much. I'm so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. I killed you. I made you suffer. I wish I had never met you, maybe then, you'd still be okay. You would have never run into that crowd. You would have never gotten put into the first coma. You'd be alive and you'd've made many more memories. I've only truely known you for a few days, so why... why is this so hard? I love you so much. I've barely even heard your voice and it still rings in my head, telling me it's not my fault. But I know it is, Skye. I know the only reason you're in this hospital bed right now, about to take your last few breaths, is because I was so stubborn. I should've came back when you called to me. I just wish I could go back. But it's okay now. I'm going to fix it. I'm going to make the pain go away."

I sat next to her, holding her warm hands just for a little longer. "I'll be seeing you soon. I promise." I kissed her pale lips, wiped away her tears and reached for the plug. "Goodbye, my love."

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Side notes:
Yes I know who Mourning Star was really meant for it just fit too perfectly I couldn't pass it up.

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