A Never Ending Sorrow

Surprise!!!

Sometimes I really hate Wattpad you guys are lucky I love you I have to rewrite this whole fucking chapter. Well, let me shut up and get back to the story. Thank you guys for being so patient with me. Also my phone is going to be off soon so I won't be updating for a little bit. Sorry guys.

Much love,
Mouse out <3

Jayy was taking a bit, not wanting to disappoint him, I left the blindfold on and scooted on my bed, feeling for my nightstand. I opened up the drawer; feeling around for my ashtray, cigarettes, and lighter. Reaching towards the back, I still found nothing. Where the hell were my cigarettes!?

Just then, I heard Jayy walk up the stairs. I closed the drawer, somewhat irritated, and sat calmly, waiting for him to reach the top. The fragrance of fresh pancakes and strawberries hit me like a cold summer breeze. My mouth watered as he got closer and placed a tray on my lap.

As soon as the blindfold was off, I picked up the fork and was centimeters from digging in. But then I noticed there was writing in blood red piping gel. It was so beautifully written and precise. I even noticed that the pancakes were shaped into perfect hearts and there were even rose petals all over the tray.

Dear Skye,

Your mom told me about your obsession with pancakes and strawberries, so I decided to make the best of it. I'm not sure if this was lame of me or creepy, but if I tried saying any of this out loud... well, I'm sure nothing would have come out. I've only truly known you for one day and look how well that went. School has gotten worse and I ended up just quitting. Every day I spent sitting in that hospital, waiting for you to wake up. I never once left your side. I'm so sorry Skye. I hope one day you'll forgive me. I want to know you Skye Wolff.

P.S. You talk in your sleep, so I know why you did what you did. ❤️

I just sat there in total shock. This was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me. I set the tray behind me and fell into Jayy. Tears began streaming down my face, soaking his shoulder. I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad at this point. I still wasn't sure if Jayy liked me more than just a friend. I mean, I was almost sure but even if he did, what about when he gets to know me and I don't meet his expectations!? I'm so scared of not being what he wants. I loved this boy, but wait, I love the Jayy from my dreams. What if he is a completely different person too!?

I was so consumed by my thoughts that I hadn't even realized that Jayy had been running his fingers through my hair and singing. I tuned in and his voice was so calming. He was singing "Intensity in Ten Cities" by Chiodos. His voice was so melodic and beautiful I didn't want him to stop.

And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

Or maybe it's all eyes on him
in love with ego and intention
the eyes that are just begging me for more.
This is gone and I can see it
your head is full of words,
full of words that don't mean anything.

And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
(If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.)

As he finished singing, he pulled me up and held me so that I was looking directly at him. He wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead, handing me the tray and pleading with his eyes for me to eat. I dug in without protest and he just giggled as I scarfed everything down. He's exactly as I dreamed he would be. I missed him. I would have to gain his love and I would do whatever it took.

Jayy looked so tired. He took my tray downstairs and came back up with a sleeping bag and laid it out on the floor next to my bed. "I hope you don't mind me sleeping in here tonight." he said, sitting back on my bed.

"Of course not Jayy, why would I?"

"Well we hardly know one another. Well I know a lot about you from your parents but that's totally different."

"But we know each.... never mind. Sorry." I said, that last part almost a whisper. He pulled me up into a hug.

"Soon." he whispered. And he just held me there. I was so tired, and I know he was too.

"Jayy, I know it's weird for you, but would you stay in my bed? just for tonight?" he looked at me a little worried. "It's ok," I spoke again, barely audible, "you don't have to, you just being here is good enough for me." I tried standing up and walking to my dresser to grab some shorts and a tank top. I felt dizzy as soon as I took the first two steps and tripped of my own feet. Before I hit the ground I felt two strong arms around my waist.

"Here, sit down. I'll grab what you need." He said, trying to hide the worry in his voice. I could see right through the barrier he was trying to put up. He sat me back on the bed and grabbed my black short shorts and my yellow Pikachu tank top.

"How did you know what I wanted?"

"Easy guess." He smirked. "Do you need help?"

I shook my head and tried standing up again but failed. I fell back onto the bed. Jayy just giggled at me and pushed me lightly so that I was laying back with my legs dangling off the bed. He unbuttoned my skinnies and started to gently tug them off. "You're like a wee little baby." he said giggling. My face was turning so red. How embarrassing.

He slipped my shorts on and I took off my shirt. Jayy covered his eyes like a little kid and I playfully slapped him. As if he didn't JUST see my underwear. As soon as I pulled my shirt on, Jayy pulled me up onto his lap and into a hug. He laid me down and pulled the blankets over us. I felt my eyes becoming heavy and soon sleep consumed me.