Wait For Me

Chapter 19

I really hate disappointing people, but I hate crushing their feelings even more. I didn't want to hurt Jake in any way, but I had to tell him that I can't be with him. Not now. Not ever. I'm sorry that it had to be that way, but I can't help having feelings for someone else. What crushed me as how Jake went back inside the room without saying a word after my confession.

"What's wrong?" My mom asks me. "You seem dull."

"It's been a long day."

"I talked to Jake today."

"You did." I put the book that I wasn't reading down and turn to her. "How was he?"

"The same." She says. "A little distracted than usual, but he didn't seem to know what I was talking about when I brought you up."

"What did you tell him about me?"

"Well, nothing." She says. "I'm not the one to tell him about your feelings towards him, that's your job."

"I know." I say and I already did tell him my feelings.

"Are you going to tell him soon?"

"It's better not to." I state.

"Why is that?"

"Well, if things don't work out, I wouldn't want our friendship to be ruined." Although I think it's too late for that. "Beside, I'm not the relationship kind."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know." I shrug, now unsure of what I meant by that. "I guess that I'm not sort of into those kinds of things."

It's a little of the truth. I hate being self-doubted, always concerned about Ron, never being too sure of what we are. It's always a battle and I don't like that.

"Well, everyone has different likes." She says and I drop the conversation at that point.

I really want to ask for my mom for advice about the whole situation between me and Ron, but I know that I can't. Not just yet.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask my mom, remembering something. "How are things with you and my dad?"

I know I got my mom's attention when she puts down her notebook and look up at me. "Where's the question coming from?"

"Just curiosity." I shrug.

"You must have a reason."

"Well, it's a confusion of how things got how they did."

"Not every marriage works, Tiff." My mom turn her attention back to her writing.

"I understand that, but would you fix things between you two."

"I don't know." She whispers. "Not every relationship has hope after a breakup. When the end is said, it's the end of it. And you have to accept that."

Would I ever accept the fact of Ronand I ever ending things between each other? I do know it would be the end of me.

***

I've been sitting on a chair for an hour already, trying to teach an elder how to play Uno. It seems that when he gets the game, he forgets the previous steps that I've taught him.

"This game is pointless." He complains.

"Well, it's suppose to be fun." I say. "Maybe, once you understand the game a little more, you might actually enjoy it."

"It actually would be a lot more fun if you played with someone that's color blind." He says. "It'd be a lot entertaining."

"Isn't that a little cruel."