When my mind finally came back from blackness, I knew where I was instantly from the smell. I was back in the hospital. But this time when I tried to get up, my wrists were restrained to the bars on the bed. I opened my eyes just a tad and was blinded by the brightness of the room. I waited awhile before moving so my eyes could adjust to the lights. No one was in the room with me this time, thank god. I don't even know what I'm going to say to my mom and dad the next time I see them. Now the stupid doctor will know it was a suicide attempt and shell keep me here for sure. Why couldn't I just die? Why do I have to live with this pain everyday? It's not fair. Oh but it is, remember, you caused this. This is all your fault. The familiar dark thoughts flooded through my mind and captured me. I was gone. All the mistakes I made, all my faults flashed through my head and made me realize the person I am. Made me realize that I DO deserve this. That I did DO something to cause this. That this is MY fault. I started all this as a child, and I'm going to finish it now. I don't care what anyone says, I'm going to die. The opening of the door took me from my thoughts an reminded me of my next obstacle. The doctor.
"Hi area, how are you feeling?" She asked sweetly, knowing she's won out little battle.
"I'm good, how are you?" I asked, returning the sweetness. I gave her a big smile and stared into her eyes.
"I'm good too. So we've set you up with a therapist that you'll see at least three times a week." She filled me in on the plan. A plan i lwasn't going to do.
"And why am I seeing some therapist?" I snapped and glared at her. Something about this woman made me angry. The ways he thought she knew everything about me. It drove me nuts.
"You've had two suicide attempts in one month. You need to talk to someone about the many feelings you have." She spoke softly and assuringly. I don't not need to talk about how I'm feeling, was she crazy!
"I don't need to talk to anyone, I'm fine. Especially some know-it-all therapist. I'd rather chop my fingers off."
"Two suicide attempts and you say you're fine? I know you don't want to do this, and it's scary, but it'll help. This is protocol for all suicide attempts that we get. You have to see the therapist." She got up and left. I don't want to see some stupid therapist who thinks they know me. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm perfectly fine holding everything in, actually, I'll be perfectly fine dead. If my plans ever work. Death is not easy to come by, I mean look at me, I've attempted it twice and failed! Third times the charm they say, right? I know exactly what I'll do next time. I know exactly how accomplish my sweet suicide. I will die, that is a promise.
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Overcoming My Father
Teen Fictionarea, is abused by her father in more than one way. she believes it is all her fault and that she caused him to abuse her. she self harms to try and deal with the pain the abuse has left her with. will she realize its not her fault? will she overcom...
