Prove It (H.S)

Chapter Forty Three

Claire's POV~

By the time the plane lands in LA, it's about 11:00 in the morning. We all hug and go our separate ways once back to campus. I had offered to walk Harry back to his dorm with Louis but he brushed me off. He's been acting so cold since I accidentaly rested my hand on his thigh this morning, and as guilty as I feel, I also feel annoyed.

Why does he get to be pissed at me? He cheated on me and broke my heart, that's the bottom line.

Once in the safety of my dorm, I strip out of my travel clothes and immediately change into my penguin pajamas. I decide it's not worth it going into my classes today at all and take it upon myself to study for an exam I know I have coming up in philosophy. I take my books out of my backpack and open them to the right pages, scattering papers and notes across my bed covers. Throwing my long hair into a messy bun, I get started.

As I begin to read a selection on John Locke, I hear a knock at the door, part of me immediately knowing who it is bound to be.

I climb off my bed, trying to dodge the papers that I have sorted into piles. When I open the door, Harry walks in, not surprising me. "Hey," he says softly. "Sorry for barging in, excuse me." I shrug, closing the door. "What's up?" I ask. He starts to sit on my bed, but notices my chaotic study plan and moves to the desk chair. "I'm just so...I just want...I want to know where we stand," he says, sort of in a frustrated tone.

"I...I don't know," I answer, sort of perplexed by the abruptness of his statement. "You know I love you. I know you still love me. I also know that I cheated on you and that it would be insane of me to try to get back into a relationship with you now, but when you touched me in the car, I know that you felt it. You felt how natural and normal it was," he says. I close my eyes and slowly shake my head. "Just because something feels normal, natural even, doesn't mean it's right," I say shakily. I look at his frowning face and he says,"You don't think we're right?" I gulp. "I don't think it's possible to know."

Harry shakes his head. "But you said you still loved me just as much as before." His voice sends chills through my body because I can feel the pain in his voice. I have pain too. "I do, Harry. But just because I Iove you doesn't mean I want to be with you. It doesn't mean I can be with you.

His fingers find their way to his shiny hair and his lips start to tremble. "I promised your grams." The mention of her name shocks me. "What?" His eyes brim with tears as do mine and he says,"I promised your grams I would take care of your heart. And love it with all I have, and I failed her. I fucking failed you." I stare at him, tears falling down my face and my chest tightening with every drop I see fall from his emerald eyes. "Harry," is all I can say before a loud sob escapes my lips and I burry my face in my hands. "I'm so sorry, Claire," I hear his vulnerable voice say.

I remove my hands from my face and breathe. "I really wish...I really wish I wasn't so in love with you," I sniffle,"It would be so much easier to resist you. I wish I hated you. I wish I hated you for what you did, damn it! I wish I fucking hated you!" My voice is louder now, my emotions taking over. Harry looks at me, green eyes locked on me and cheeks stained with tears. "But I just don't," I whisper.

Neither of us say anything for a few moments. I gaze at him, feeling defeated by my own emotions and exhausted from the tears I've shed. In this moment I am not thinking of anything, I'm just absorbing. I'm absorbing the feeling of being here with Harry, knowing that my next decision may ruin us both.

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Harry's POV~

"I'm scared," she finally says. I look at her, and watch as her eyes go from the floor to me. "What scares you?" I ask, keeping my eyes locked with hers. "This," her hands wave awkwardly between us. I tilt my head in confusion.

She runs her fingers under her eyes to collect the moisture there before saying,"You have the power to shatter my heart, and still put the pieces back together as good as new, and that's what scares me the most." I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.

When I open them again, I see Claire biting her lower lip like she does and a fresh tear rolls down her soft cheek. "I'm sorry," I say and she laughs. "God, I've cried enough in the past week to last five lifetimes." I smile, only because the fact that Claire can find any humor in this moment takes the dying feeling away from me for a moment.

"I'm sorry that you don't hate me." She stares at me with mascara dripping from her eyes. She shakes her head. "Me too." I exhale deeply, rubbing my hands on my knees.

"Harry," she begins and I look up. "We aren't getting back together," she says, voice cracking. I bite the inside of my cheek and then clench my jaw. "I know we aren't," I say and continue,"but I want you to know that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, Claire Hoffman, and I wouldn't change what he had for the world."

She brings her hand to her mouth, curling her fingers in as she whimpers. "I'll always love you, Harry." I stand up and take her small frame in my arms. "I'll always love you, Claire, always." I slowly bring my lips to hers, but only for a moment. I feel like an addict being weened off his drug. I feel like I'm dying.

Her blue eyes glisten and I smile at her, brushing my thumb across her cheek. Suddenly, I hear the patter of rain outside and Claire does too because she looks around the room for a moment. "Remember when I said it was no fun to sit in the rain?" She asks, and somehow we were thinking of the same memory. I nod.

"I told you...I told you to prove it."

Author's Note:
Hello loves! I worked very hard on this chapter so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Let me know what you think...also, THANKS FOR 7K READS! You all are the best.
xoxo
Lila