Hidden Joy

Twelve

The police came and took her from mommy. The man was taken to jail and mommy to the hospital. They took her to the hospital too and a tall lady came to see her. She said she would keep her safe.
"What happened to you? Who did this?" She asked kindly.
"The man. Mommy's boss. He was angry." She said.
"Angry at who? You?"
She shook her head, "No mommy. She kept some of the money. He punishes mommy by hurting me."
"How do you know this?"
"Mommy says so."
"Do you know who your daddy is?"
"Mommy calls him Z. She says he's tall like almost seven feet. He has no hair and a scar on his face. She says he isn't as scary after you get to know him."
"Where can we find him?"
"Mommy doesn't know."
The woman nodded her head and wrote stuff down. The doctor came in. She had a broken arm, two cracked ribs and was hungry. He wanted herb to stay the night before letting her go with the woman. She was scared.
"Don't worry, Phoenix, you are safe now."

She jolted awake. The dreams were back. She wished they stayed away. She wished the social workers were right and that she had been safe. But the past was the past. She needed a run again. She dressed for the occasion and headed to the gym. She changed course and headed outside. It was just after dark so it was safe. She began jogging then running laps around the compound. She kept running until She couldn't run anymore. When she sat on the grass, she felt relaxed.
" You really pushed it there." said a male voice behind her, "Im Blaylock, Blay."
"Phoenix." She replied to him.
" What had you running so hard?"
"The past."
"That's always a good reason to run."
"I do it because when I'm physically pushed I don't remember."
"May I ask, What you don't want to remember."
"Lets just say my childhood wasn't golden or even fair. It was horrible and I suffered a lot because of it." She sighed, "It was foster home after home."
"I may not have had a rough life but I have a past I still need to handle. My mate, you will meet him later, didn't know what he wanted. Men or women. He had sex with both sexes. All the while knowing how I felt for him. He has a child with someone and I feel like I need to accept that. This child was a result of that past. Something I need to live with. What makes it hard to live with, is knowing that the child wasn't mine. Wasn't thought up from a mutual decision we made together. Seeing the few brothers find out about children they never knew they had, makes me either does he have a child out there. Do I? I know it doesn't sound like a lot but it is."
She closed her eyes. "My mother was a drug addict as well as a dealer. She had one person who supplied for her. When she didn't give him his full cut or he was just mad, or any other reason, he took his anger out on me. Beat me, burned me, stabbed me, shot me. I was taken away and given back so many times that I finally set out to find my father. I left the system at sixteen and nine years later here I am. The homes were... Some I never wanted to leave, some I couldn't wait to leave. The bad ones, I was beat, starved, locked in closets, thrown down stairs, any form of cruel punishment I can almost guarantee that I got it."
"Thsts..." He took a deep breath, "Thsts sad. Does Darius know? Z? Anyone?"
"Just you. Maybe the brother Vishous. I know he's been searching into my past."
"I am glad you told me. Glad you felt comfortable telling me."
"I don't know why I told you. I never tell anyone."
" I have a way with people like that."
"I had a dream of the first time social services came. That's why I was running. Because I.. I should have stopped it some how. I hate talking about it."
"Here's my cell number. Call or text any time you need someone to talk to. But I suggest you see Mary. She's like our resident shrink."
She smiled and stood. The feeling of relief rushed over her. Someone finally knew what she went through. Well the very condensed part. She liked the feeling it gave her. But she still hated herself for allowing that to happen for that long. Sixteen years she stood there taking the beatings.

*****
I've been so busy lately that I felt I needed to upload now just in case I can't Wednesday. This chapter was emotionally hard for me to write as I got so invested in it. I hope it's a good one.

As always you know what to do!

XOXO