At Midnight

Chapter 24

Because I figured out that Edward would most likely drop by again and I dreaded seeing his face, I got up and went to school. There were many other options and places but I had no idea why I dragged myself to that horrid building. Maybe it was because my mother was at home and the school could finally reach her and inform her about my 'progress' or maybe it wasn't. It had been who knows how long since I've stepped into the stuffy and jam packed hallways.

But instead of getting to my classes and trying to be a better student, I headed straight to the back of school where I usually spent most of my time if I was at school. I opened the doors and the Stoners greeted me with way too much enthusiasm. Come on, they weren't even sober to remember anyone's name.

I nodded at them in acknowledgement and sat at a cupboard-makeshift chair far from them and lit my cigarette. I took a long drag and I watched the Stoners laughing away hysterically as they sat in a circle on the dirty and germ-infested ground. They seemed to enjoy each other's company even though they were baked.

Unconsciously, I stood up and my feet carried me towards their little circle. " Want one?" One of the guys suggested. They were pretty generous from my previous experiences and whenever they offered me weed, I'd reject them politely. I saw what drugs did to people and I didn't want to turn out like them so I stuck with smoking.

However, a part of me, no matter how small or big it was, had always wanted to try it out. Just for the sake of it. And I was tempted as I stared at the cigarette resting in the middle of the palm of his hand. The tobacco had been taken out and it was replaced with weed. And for the first time, I contemplated his offer.

I wondered how they never got caught. I had never seen them going in or out of the principal's office, not even once. The backdoor was unlocked so their hideout was easily accessible to anyone and it seemed pretty risky to be smoking pot at the back of school and out in the open in such a big group. Didn't the school have security cameras? I checked the walls for them, just in case, but there was none in sight. Maybe the teachers or other staff or students closed one eye for the sake of the school's unsoiled reputation.

" What the heck. I'm fucked anyways." I said as I grabbed the cigarette from his hand.

They cheered and made space for me and I ended up being sandwiched in between two jocks that apparently liked drugs. I was kind of surprised but then again, I didn't really bother to know much about the school or associate myself with people who frequent it.

I played with the cigarette in my fingers and gazed at it. I could still back out – it wasn't too late. It wasn't like they were going to ridicule me or come up with nasty and far-fetched rumors about me, considering the fact that they couldn't care less and even if they did, I didn't give a flying fuck.

Everyone was staring at me with keen eyes as they waited with anticipation for me to take my first puff. I hardly knew anything about them and there I was willing to give it a shot with a bunch of strangers who could be potential evil scientists bent on ruling the world. Nothing could go wrong right?

Eventually, I did, after persuading myself that I had nothing to loose. They whooped and continued smoking their own. Some were mumbling and giggling to themselves but majority were just enjoying the drug and waiting for the effect to kick in.

I hated it and I never wanted to do it again. Never again in a million years. Not even if the entire human race was at stake. But for some reason, despite the yucky taste and awful burning sensation in my throat (it felt like a mini sized ninja was trying to escape by using his extremely long and sharp samurai sword and slicing at the walls of my throat), I smoked the whole cigarette. Wouldn't want it to go to waste now, would we? They asked if I wanted another one when they saw that I was done but I declined their offer politely. I had enough of marijuana.

I stood up and walked back to my spot. The circle closed the gap after I left. My legs wobbled as I stumbled back to my isolated corner. I felt a little hazy and there were no emotions whatsoever. It was as if I was stuck in a black and empty void with no way out and I couldn't feel anything. It was terrible.

I wanted nothing more than to go home and lie on my comfortable bed until the marijuana was out of my system for good and there was no way in hell I was driving myself home in a state like this. My mind wasn't in a right state. I could barely even walk for crying out loud.

I called the only person I knew who wouldn't ground me or tell anybody else about this whole situation or put me in jail for doing illegal substances.

He picked up on the third ring. " Mia?" He asked sleepily. Oh right, I almost forgot the perks of being home schooled. Silly me.

" I need you to pick me up from school." I said wearily.

" Five minutes." I heard the ruffling sounds and the line was cut off.

I flung my backpack on my shoulder and staggered to the parking lot where I had parked my car. The Stoners yelled 'byes' at me and I managed a weak smile. I unlocked my car and sat in the passenger seat while I waited for Ashton to come. His house was only a fifteen minutes walk to my school but he came in a flash. He was panting and his chest heaved up and down as he slid into the driver's seat. He must've run all the way here.

I would have felt bad for making him rush but like I had said, I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't even guilty and nodded my head at him nonchalantly as if it was completely okay thing for people to call their neighbors at ten in the morning to pick them up from school because they were too high to drive themselves.

" Are you okay?" He asked worriedly after catching his breath and I nodded my head.

He ran a hair through his messy hair and sighed deeply. He didn't look the least bit convinced but he turned on the engine nonetheless and we drove away. The view of the school in the rear view mirror shrunk and soon, it was out of sight. I rested my head against the cold window and I watched the blurred trees and houses as the car zoomed past them.

Suddenly, he pulled to a stop and the car was parked beside a house that I was never aware about. It was clearly not our street. " What?" I asked.

" God, Mia. Have you been smoking weed?" He asked in shock and disbelief.

" It was only one cigarette." I shrugged.

" Mia! It's illegal you could get caught for it! You know that!" He yelled and gripped the steering wheel hard. His knuckles turned white and there might be a chance that his circulatory would have been cut off. " Drugs are dangerous, Mia! What were you thinking?"

" I wasn't." I mumbled.

The ordinary thing to feel at that moment was disappointment and sadness and worry but because all of my emotions were taken out and locked in a treasure box that had been thrown into the Pacific Ocean, along with the key, I didn't feel anything. 

" I won't do it again. I only tried once." I said.

" Drugs are bad. You know that! I'd rather you stick to smoking!" If anything, my calmness about the whole situation seemed to anger him even more.

He exhaled loudly and closed his eyes. " Why'd you do that?" He asked.

I thought about it. " I had nothing to loose." I said. And maybe it was time I let Ashton in, just a little would do. He deserved to know after all. Since my emotions were gone temporarily, I decided to take a chance and took advantage of the matter.

" My dad left Mum and I when I was a few months old and yesterday he decided to just show up after years of walking out on our lives. With no contact." I explained. " I don't know if that was what made me do weed but I thought that I should let you know."

" Mia." He said gently. He did that whenever he didn't know the right things to say and before he could say something else, I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

" It's cool. No pity party alright." I said and he nodded his head solemnly.

The engine came to life again and we sat in silence as he droved me back to my house.

House – that's what it was. I was mistaken all a long, huh. Well, I guessed I knew it deep down inside but I never got the guts to acknowledge it.

There's a difference between a 'home' and a 'house'. And if you don't know the difference, then, you're lucky.