At Midnight

Chapter 35

Ask anyone if they'd been to a carnival before and the answer you'd get back would be a definite 'yes'. It was basically a cool place to go to for all ages. Old couples get to eat chilidogs, young children get to go on fun rides and win prizes and teenagers get to make out in what they claim to be a romantic atmosphere.

I've only been to a carnival once and that was when I brought Maddy along with me, a couple of years ago. Ever since the accident, I refused to set foot into any carnival or amusement parks. I couldn't stand the fact that I was having fun in the place she loved most without her being there to enjoy it with me. Call it nostalgia or not being able to move on, but it was just something I couldn't bring myself to do.

I was shocked beyond words when my father suggested on bringing me to the carnival on that Saturday. He wasn't working and he longed to spend some father-daughter time together and going to the carnival was something he wanted to cross off the bucket list. I figured all fathers had that fantasy of carrying their little girls on their shoulders while pushing through the crowd in a fun fair to get her some pink candyfloss.

I hesitated for a while. He had no idea about Maddy or what the carnivals meant to me. But the way he pleaded over the phone, begging me to go to the carnival with him, well, it was impossible to say no.

Fiddling with the sleeves of my jacket as we entered the carnival. I tried to swallow the guilt that was eating me. Nervous was an understatement. I didn't know what to expect or how to feel but when Dad ruffled my hair and called out to me to keep up, I relaxed a little.

Tonight's the night I can finally spend time with Dad, it'll be fun, I thought.

It was one of the biggest carnivals I had ever witnessed with my own eyes. There were tons of game stalls, ranging from Ring Toss, Milk Bottle and Mini Hoop. I could barely see who were running the stalls because of those gigantic soft toys that hung from the top of the tents. Of course, there were bumper cars, roller coasters, Viking rides and the spectacular Ferris wheel overlooking the fair. And what would a carnival be without cotton candy and other tooth rooting treats?

We went to the Ferris wheel first since I had insisted on going on it. I hadn't been on it for a long time and looking down on all those smiling faces made me grin too. It was gorgeous, from a bird's eye view.

Meanwhile, Dad was pointing at random strangers and making up stories about their lives from glancing at their facial expressions. He claimed that the bald thirty year-old man with a gigantic belly had just been sacked and his date ditched him, thus the sulking face and continuous indulgence of corndogs.

I would definitely miss moments like those.

Dad and I squeezed through the crowds, trying to get first in line for the rides. He was more excited than I was and sometimes I wondered if our roles had been reversed.

After being dragged to the rollercoaster, I barely got a hold of my balance before puking at the shrubs beside the ride. I wasn't feeling well after two more round although Dad seemed to be having a blast. It took countless persuading for us to move on to another ride. That man really loved his rollercoasters.

He got us cotton candy – his was pink while mine was blue. When I looked at him questioningly, he simply replied, " You loved blue as a kid." And a small smile spread across my face. He remembered.

We went to every game stall and Dad beat me in every one of them. After rubbing salt into my wounds about beating me, he would give me those terribly huge and fluffy soft toys, calling me 'kiddo' every time he did so. I was having a hard enough time keeping up with his pace and the weight of those soft toys weren't helping at all.