Will I

Avi

WARNING: a bit of verbal abuse, drugs, mention of death,

Avi walked to the graveyard, his head down and guitar on his back. He walked past the headstones, ones that were breaking down from to ones that were added not too long ago. He finally made it to his destination and smiled weakly, sitting down in front of the headstone. He took the guitar off of his back and strummed a bit.

"Hey, Dad," Avi began, running his hands down the headstone. He sighed as he thought about his father before he passed away. "I've something to tell you."

He sighed as he strummed another chord, looking up at the sky. He was trying to think of the best way to tell his father this.

"I'm gay," Avi finally admitted, putting his guitar down. The wind blew on Avi slowly, making him shiver. "So, I guess you're okay with it. I told Mom already. She didn't care. She went back to what she usually does. All I see are drugs now and I hate it.

"Josh began to smoke weed. He's stoned now and I hate it. Esther and I are the only ones who don't do drugs, but she's living with Darien now. Yeah, they're dating now. Isn't that cool? She's so beautiful, Dad."

Avi looked at the headstone once more, wanting his father to be back. He was the one who found when he overdosed. He was the one who found the needle in his arm and took it out himself, trying to bring his father back. His father looked at him and closed his eyes, breathing his one last breath. Avi was the one who was with him during his last moments and he blamed himself constantly for not saving him.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you," Avi murmured, tears rolling down his cheeks. He placed his guitar down, looking at it in admiration. "Thank you for the guitar, Dad. I just want you to be here so you could hear it."

The guitar was a gift to him a year before he found out his parents were drug addicts. His dad gave it to him when he was eleven and he has had it since. At eighteen, it was still in great condition and he refused to let anyone touch it.

"Well," Avi began, looking at his watch. He picked up the guitar, looking at the headstone once more. "I'll see you later."

The wind blew against him once more, making him smile. Maybe his father is still here.

I miss you.

~~~

"Avi, you need to get out of that house," ether told him one day, shaking her head. Avi shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to leave. "You're graduating in a month. You don't need to be in this kind of environment!"

"I know what I'm doing, Es. Now, shush. Mom's going to wake up," Avi whispered, looking over at their mom. "Why are you even here if you hate it?"

"I'm trying to convince you to leave, Av," Esther replied, glaring at their mom a bit. "She's a bad influence. She won't help you through college!"

"He don't need to go to college," Josh interrupted, laughing loudly. His eyes are red an he smelt like weed. "He's too dumb anyway."

Avi sighed, shaking his head. Josh had been saying this kind of stuff ever since he started doing drugs. He was so kind and sweet and now he says the cruelest things he could think of.

"He's also the reason why Dad died," Josh murmured angrily, glaring at Avi. Avi hung his head down, knowing that was the truth. "Dad could still be alive if it wasn't for him."

"Shut up, Josh," Esther hissed, shaking her head. Josh laughed as he shook his head. "Avi was thirteen when it happened. He didn't know what to do!"

"That's why he's dumb! He has no idea what to do," Josh explained, looking at his brother. "Aw, he's crying now! Wa, wa, wa!"

"Shut up, Josh," Esther yelled. "You're the dumb one! What have you done with your life besides smoke weed? Uh?!"

"Better stuff than him," Josh answered, laughing at his brother's tears. "At least I don't making out with boys."

That was the last straw. Avi stood up from the chair and went into his room. Esther glared at Josh and walked to Avi's room, watching him pack. He didn't have a lot, but it looked like he will have to come back to oak everything else.

"I hate him," Avi hissed, throwing a shirt into a bag. Esther nodded, walking in to fold some clothes for him. "Why is he like this? He's so cruel!"

"I know, Avi," Esther replied, putting a pair of pants into the bag. She hugged her brother close to her, rubbing his shoulders gently. "You are moving in with me. I don't care if you say no."

"Okay. I just don't care at this point. Let Mom do crack and let Josh smoke weed. I'm done."

Esther nodded sadly, getting another bag to help Avi pack. When most everything was packed, Avi looked around for something, something he treasured.

The last thing his father gave him.

"Esther, where's my guitar?"

Esther shrugged her shoulders, looking around for it too. Avi searched high and low for it, hoping to find it. After a few minutes of searching, a knock at Avi's door and a deep laugh confirmed his fears.

"Looking for this?" Josh asked, the seven year old guitar in his hand. Avi walked up to get it, but Josh smirked evilly as he brought it over his shoulder. "Let's see how breakable it is."

Josh slammed the guitar on Avi's dresser, making it break into two pieces. Avi shook his head as Josh threw the guitar at his feet, laughing diabolically.

"Oh, how sad. The last thing Dad gave you," Josh commented, walking up to his brother. He stomped on the guitar, breaking it even more. "Oh, no. I didn't know that guitars were breakable. Bye, bye Avi."

Esther flipped him off, empathetic tears blurring her vision. She watched as Avi fell to his knees, picking up the guitar that meant so much for him.

"Avi, I'm so sorry. I'll get you a new one."

Avi shook his head, the remnants of the guitar cutting into his hands. He cried softly as he threw them, putting his hands over his eyes. He cried for the longest time, his head on Esther's shoulder. He felt like he betrayed his father once again.

I'm so sorry, Dad.

"Let's go now, Avi."

Avi nodded as he stood up, grabbing his bags. He watched his mom stand up and look at him. He shook his head and walked outside, happy to leave the horrible place he once called a home.

Never again did he play the guitar the same.

A/N: My heart, omg. The last flashback chapter is Kevin and I must warn you right now that it deals with suicide. If you are uncomfortable or easily triggered by the topic of suicide, I suggest that you don't read it. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter and remember that I love you all.:)

-Maddie🐧🐧🐧