Will I

Kevin

WARNINGS: drinking, smoking, suicide

Kevin smiled at Kellen weakly, exhaustion evident in his eyes. Kellen smiled as he hugged his brother, happy to see him.

"Are you hungry?" Kevin asked, looking over his brother's body. When the seventeen year old nodded excitedly, Kevin laughed as he walked into the kitchen. "Where's Mom and Dad?"

"Mom is getting more cigarettes and Dad is in their room, passed out," Kellen answered, frowning. Kevin nodded as he got boxes of macaroni and cheese out, hoping that this will fill them up. "Mac and cheese again?"

"I'm afraid so," Kevin responded, getting out some pots. He looked back at Kellen excitedly, his heart leaping in joy. "I got a letter from Yale."

"Yeah?" Kellen asked excitedly, hoping on the counter. Kevin gave him a letter and he read through it, his smirk growing. "You're accepted?!"

"And I have a full-rude scholarship because I play the cello with the professional orchestra," Kevin told his brother excitedly. Kellen hugged Kevin excitedly, proud of his brother. "I'm taking you with me."

"You are?" Kellen asked, looking up when the door opened. It was their mother, a cigarette already in her mouth. "She's here."

"Mom?" Kevin asked, smiling when his mom looked over at him. He walked up to her and give her the letter. "I was accepted to Yale."

"Eh, that's good," his mom replied in a bored tone. Kevin nodded sadly, knowing that his mom didn't care. "Where's your father?"

"Your room," Kellen answered sadly, walking up to his mom and older brother. He rubbed his back, looking at him sadly. "We've got nothing to eat, Mom. We only have mac and cheese."

"You two are seventeen and eighteen! You could shop for food yourselves," their mom told them, shaking her head. She lit her cigarette and walked off, wanting to see her husband. Kevin put the letter in his pocket and looked at Kellen, hugging him gently.

"You're going to Yale with me and I'll buy an apartment. We'll be away from them."

Kellen nodded, wanting his parents to care about him and Kevin. The brothers stayed in the embrace, praying for loving parents.

~~~

"Man, I love classical music," Kevin told his friend Lindsey. She laughed and nodded in agreement, taking out her violin. "Are you performing tonight?"

"I might," she responded, turning it up. Canon in D began to play and she smiled to herself. "Canon in D is wonderful, especially when it's played on the violin. What do you think, Kev?"

"It's more beautiful when it's on played on the cello," Kevin replied, winking at his friend. She rolled her eyes playfully and after warming up her instrument, she played for a couple seconds. "I'm going to Yale."

"That amazing, Kev," Lindsey exclaimed, hugging him. Somebody shushed her, causing her to blush. "Oops, sorry. Are you taking Kellen?"

"That's the plan," Kevin answered, thinking off his brother. He looked over at a girl with a viola, smiling softly. "Alyssa is so pretty."

"Yeah, she is," Lindsey agreed, nodding her head. She gasped as she smiled at Kevin, punching him lightly. "You're in love with Alyssa!"

"No I'm not," Kevin argued, shaking his head. He watched as Alyssa put her music on the stand and began to play, the crescendo growing perfectly. "She's a good viola player. That's why I like her."

"You just said I like her."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lindsey rolled her eyes as she went back to playing her violin. Kevin was about to start playing his cello when the conductor walked up to him, his eyes full of sadness.

"Kevin?" He asked, getting the taller man's attention. Kevin turned to him, nodding his head. "You need to go home."

"Why? What happened?" Kevin asked, putting his stuff away. Lindsey stopped playing her violin and looked at her friend worriedly. "Is it..."

The conductor nodded, which made Kevin put his stuff away faster. Tears leaked out of his eyes and he wiped at them roughly, muttering no the entire time. Lindsey helped him, wondering what is happening.

"Who is it, Kev?"

Kevin looked at her, his heart breaking. He took a deep breath, revealing who he was thinking about.

"It's Kellen."

~~~

Kevin walked into his house, his cello in his case. Classical music played in his mind in hopes to keep him calm, but he knows that can't happen. An E.M.T is talking to his parents and the nodded, looking very bored. A bottle of beer was in Kevin's dad's hand and a cigarette was in his mom's fingers.

"The pills he took were sleeping pills. If you take too much, you could go into a coma or die."

"So is he in a coma?" Kevin's dad asked, sipping from his beer. Kevin shook his head, knowing the answer. "What happened to my son?"

"He committed suicide. He overdosed on sleeping pills," the E.M.T confirmed, looking over at Kevin when he began to cry. "Was he your brother?"

"Yes," Kevin answered, wiping his eyes. The classical music slowed down, melodramatic chords playing softly. "He was only seventeen."

"I'm so sorry, sir," the E.M.T responded, looking at the parents. They went back to smoking and drinking. "You may see him one more time if you want to."

Kevin nodded, leaving his parents alone. He can't believe his brother is gone. He was supposed to protect him!

I'm so sorry, Kell.

~~~

Kellen's funeral came and most people in the orchestra came. Lindsey sat in the front row, tears running down her face. Alyssa sat by her, her heart breaking over Kellen's death. A few family members came but not a lot. Kevin wanted his parents to come since this will be the last time they'll see their son.

They did not come.

"Hello, everyone," Kevin began, getting everyone's attention. He took a shuddery breath, looking at the picture he chose for Kellen's funeral. "Kellen was an amazing young man. He had everything going right for him. His life was taken away much too early and I..."

Kevin stopped right there, sobbing quietly. He wiped his eyes, wanting the speech to be over with. He took another shuddery breath, his vision blurry.

"He wrote a letter. In it, he explained how he couldn't take it anymore. Our parents were neglectful and they didn't even come to his funeral. They didn't care for us at all. I took care of Kellen from the moment I was capable of taking care of him to the last moments of his life. Thank you all for coming."

Everyone applauded silently while Kevin sat down next to Lindsey, crying softly. Lindsey held his hand while Alyssa rubbed his back, comforting him. The preacher began to speak, but Kevin didn't listen. When the preacher was done, classical musical played softly, only making Kevin miss Kellen more.

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.

Never again did he listen to classical music the same.

A/N: First off, I am so sorry if this triggered you in any way. This chapter is super triggering. The support group chapters start next so I am excited.:) They won't be as triggering, but there will be moments when they talk about why they are in support group and they will be descriptive. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter and remember that I love you all.:)

-Maddie🐧🐧🐧