MALADRESSE ✞

1.0

"Are we really doing this Pj?"

"Of course, Dan. Now stop complaining and get down on your knees."

"Innuendo 101,"

"Just play unconscious, goddammit!"

"That's even better! Just tell your boyfriend to act unconscious, that will go great on all the valentines day cards. 'Get on the floor and die, asshole!' great story to tell the family over dinner."

"Hey, why would I say that over dinner? I don't want mom to choke on her food while laughing."

"Is that seriously what you got from that? -Wow, I mean, wow, that's great. Perfect!"

"Just do it."

"Alright, Shia LaBeouf." I say, but I do as I was told.

We were currently making a video for Pj's channel, the 'rollover' but Peej has scripted it to be humorous, I found it funny and because Pj had nobody to be the unconscious friend since Charlie was filming, I offered to do it.

As much as I moaned during the filming which was a total of too many hours, I actually had a great time. I was laughing along to some jokes Peej and Charlie said and I even put in some of my own.

When we were done, I lay on my back and closed.my eyes while folding my arms on my chest.

"Hey, Dan?"

"Yeah?" I say, keeping my eyes closed.

"Who's T-shirt is that?"

I look down at my top and I realise it's a Sunnydale high school top, the Hight school from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the show Phil is obsessed with. He must of left it behind when he stayed over and I lent him some clothes, I gave him the lightest thing I had which was a purple galaxy shirt which he said he had something similar only a jacket.

"Oh, I think it's Phil's. I must have just picked it up and put it on. I'll wash it and give it back next time I see him." I resolve, closing my eyes again.

You never wear my clothes," he says quietly.

I sit up and look him in the eye. "This isn't about clothes, is it?"

"You're always going out to see him! You're always with him! I never see you, before, I would spend every waking minute with you until I sleep and then because you can't you'll go to the coffee shop.

"We had a routine and I liked it. I got to see my boyfriend. But now I rarely see you! You go out whenever, sometimes bring him back, making me feel like a third-wheel and now you're wearing his clothes! What the fuck, Dan?"

"We are friends, Peej! I am allowed them too, you know! Gods, before I started seeing Phil more -as a fucking friend before you start- I felt so lonely every time one of your friends came around and then you treated me like a fucking servant! 'Dan make me a cup of tea, will you' or 'Dan make us something to eat, we're all hungry'.

"Do you want to know how that made me feel? Like shit, Peej! like I was below everyone, just like I did in high school! You of all people should know what I went through, and then the person who I believed I loved, turns around and does the same thing! Only, in the comfort of my own home!"

Tears formed in my eyes as my anger starts to boil, what the hell brought this on? Because I wore Phil's top without realising it?

"Don't fucking turn this around on me, Dan. You're the one who is going out at all hours to see him! And only him! I never hear you mention Chris being there! How am I supposed to know you're not cheating?"

I let out a strangled cry. "Chris is in the hospital you complete and utter moron!"

"I know! I-"

Peej covers his mouth and his eyes widen, he wasn't supposed to let that our.

"How do you know?"

"I don't! I-"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW!"

"I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM BEHIND YOUR BACK, OKAY?"

"WHAT? HOW COULD YOU? AND THEN FUCKING ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING! HOW DARE YOU!"

"WELL IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SAID, YOU WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW!"

"AND THAT MAKES IT ALRIGHT DOES IT? FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU."

"CHRIS ALREADY HAS."

"HE'S FUCKING ENGAGED DUDE."

"SO?"

My face and mind go blank, I don't feel anything, my emotions turn from the white hot burning rage I felt outside the coffee shop a week ago to nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I want you out of my house by Friday."

Peej's face twists into a look of guilt, I look away because I don't want to crack, I can't forgive him for this, this is just one of those things that can't be forgiven by a simple look. If he wants to make it up to me, he'll have to work for it. Then I'll forgive him.

"Okay." He says quietly.

And in that moment, the remaining parts of my already scarred and torn heart shattered into many unfixable pieces as if made of glass, because in reality, that's how fragile the most important organ of the human body is.

"Is that it?" I whisper.

"What else do you want me to say, Dan? Would you even accept it or believe me if I said sorry?" He asks, keeping his voice low.

"It depends, would you mean it?"

I look at him, a tiny fraction of hope still left in my watering eyes, but the water soon washes that hope away as I was welcomed to nothing but silence.

Oh.

"Anything else?" He asks.

"Yeah, tell Phil. He deserves to know."

After that we didn't speak, we just thanked Charlie for filming it and while I went home, Peej stayed behind. I decided I didn't want to be close to anybody, including strangers, so I walked home instead of catching the train. I knew it was a long walk, but I also knew the way home and the fact it would give me time to think by myself.

Why would he do this to me?
Why would out of anyone, why would I be Pj to cheat on me? To an engaged man.

The thought that someone so amazing like him to do something like this chips away any of the remaining faith I ever had in humanity.

I get home sometime near seven and I just go straight to bed, even though I hadn't eaten at all today I had lost my appetite somewhere between before the argument and the London eye.

I start crying again, I've done a lot of that on the journey back home, but who wouldn't when you find out your partner was unfaithful? I would never dream of cheating. I may of had some thoughts towards Phil, but I would have never tried something with him while dating Peej.

I close my eyes and for the first time in a while... I fall asleep... Just like that.