Veiled Against All Odds

02.

"Ma, Nuha has family from the Middle-East coming to visit her tomorrow. They'll be staying for a few days. Isn't that cool?" I hang my satchel behind the door on the rusty old nail that has been there since I was little.

Turning to my mother, I ask, "Is everything okay, Ma?"

She sits motionless at the dining table, holding onto a cup of black tea. I can tell that she has been up all night by the black rings underneath her eyes and her skin has a different shade of pale. She does not reply and I have a mini anxiety attack internally.

I walk closer, pull out a chair and join her.

I wonder what she's thinking?

"Ma, what's wrong?" I try one more time.

This time her green eyes meets mine and I can tell that she has something very important to say.

She takes my hands in hers and says, "I have been thinking about you wearing the veil. Alhamdulilah, you have come to the point in your life where you no longer want to live following society and I understand that. My girl, I do not want to scare you, but your father makes the decisions."

But he is not God? He can't stop me from wearing it. I live to please my Creator and I, certainly, do NOT fear man.

"Ma, how does Abee not see that I am taking this upon myself? It's for MY benefit." She lets go of my hands and I feel a little bit scared now. "Ma, it is MY life that is going to change dramatically. It will only affect yours."

My mother shakes her head sobbing quietly.
"Maryam, I am your mother! I am behind you one hundred percent. I love you. You are my little girl and I support your decision. It's just that your father dispises it more than I do."

I get up and kick my chair in fraustration.

"Ma, I know that. I just need your and Abee's motivation and acceptance, but I can't get that right now and I need it now. I need both of my parents to support me fully."

I turn and walk towards my room. Dragging my feet towards my bed, I sit down near the edge.

How is it that my mother cannot change my father's view on the veil?

I stretch out my arms and lay back.

Maybe, Nuha's grandmother can help me. Maybe, she can offer me some advice and even tell me what to do.

I close my eyes and hope something or someone helps me with my situation since I have not got much knowledge regarding this.

I let out a big sigh, Tomorrow.