Veiled Against All Odds

14.

"Okay, I think you know why I am here by now." Mama looks at me. "I believe that Maryam has got a little problem with fulfilling her dream of wearing the veil." I nod in agreement and then, look towards my parents.

My mother has shifted to the two seater and Abee has slouched in beside her. Both of them look in my direction but, I avoid eye-contact.

"Maryam...?" Mama cues for me to speak and I freeze. What am I going to say? I know that Abee knows what it is about but, I guess I need to explain it a little to my mother too.

"Uhm..." I clear my throat. "We all know what this is about, yes Abee?" Abee nods. "I want to start wearing a Niqaab. I know that Abee thinks of it as a burden and that I am too young to undertake such a great responsibility but, I am ready. I am. I want to be beautiful in the eyes of the Creator, not the creations. I want to live my life in accordance to the Qur'an and Sunnah. My heart is set on that. I don't really care for this world very much because I know that it won't last forever." I stop to recollect my thoughts and think about what to say next. Before I can finish, my mother starts.

"Maryam," I can hear in her voice that she is near to tears but, how is it possible? I have only started my introduction.
"I have no problem with it. I stood behind your fathers' decision because he is my husband and I should be obedient to him." My mother looks down.

"I support your decision." I smile a broken smile. I have convinced ny mother way before but, I have Abee next on the list.

Abee looks at my mother with hurt in his eyes. "You just agreed with my decision even though you didn't really understand it?" he asks barely audible. My mother stay silent and then, lifts her head and nods for me to continue.

"I know but, I need to make sure that Abee sees it from my point of view. I yearn for Jannah. I yearn for more knowledge. I yearn for the The Day I get told by my Creator, that despite all the challenges I faced on this Earth, I succeeded and that He is happy with me." Nuha looks at me. I know that she feels me on this topic because we have had many conversations about it.

"My intention is strong enough to fulfill this, Abee." I look towards my father waiting for a reply.

Abee shifts in his seat.

"Her intention is already there. She is ready. She knows that it is not an easy decision but, she is ready. She has been ready for a while now and, even though she can do this without the approval of others, she wants your approval and blessings." Mama says. Both of us looks at my parents expecting some sort of reaction or reply.

"I see.."

Finally.

Abee starts and I can feel my stomach churning. I don't know what he is about to say but, I hope he comes around.

"Maryam, I understand everything. Everything." Abee leans to the front and places his elbows on his knees. He ruffles his hair quickly before speaking again.

"You are just too young! I can't. I just can't let you go."

"Abee, you're speaking as if I am leaving home or getting married. I am not a child anymore. I am growing up." I say.

"Growing up too fast and right infront of my eyes! This just validates it. Your decisions are validating it." He looks up at me.
"I am not ready to let you do this. Not yet."

"If not now, when, Abee? Life is fleeting. Soon we'll all be dead and what have we to present to our Lord?" I say. The atmosphere is tense and I feel everyones' eyes on us.

"Maryam.." my mother looks at me. "You are grown enough to make your own decisions. You can do this regardless of what Abee says."

"Ma, I know but, this would be so much better if Abee agrees. It'll feel as if I got both if my parents approval. If I got it, nothing else will matter." I look at Abee. His face is red and he looks hot and frustrated.

Mama nods her head. "It makes it easier for her." She says to no one in particular.

"Alright." Abee gets up and walks towards me. He kneels down infront of me. "Maryam, my only child." He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. He doesn't blink because he doesn't want to make it obvious that he's hurting. How is this hurting him? He should be happy and proud.

"I believed in you since the first time you brought it up, I just didn't want to agree even though I know you are strong willed. You've got it right." I wipe Abees' tears from his bottom eyelid and swipe his cheek slightly. "You do this. I agree." His face drops into his hands.

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Longest chapter so far! Alhamdulilah. Shukran/Thank You to everyone who takes their time reading this. I hope you enjoy it and the chapters after this one In Shaa Allah <3 .