He can't be dead...

Chapter 4

Phil awoke the next morning later than usual. He prepared to throw himself out of bed to wake up Dan, when he remembered what had happened. He sank back into the monotone duvet. It had all happened so fast, and Phil didn't think he could ever get back to normal. His friend's funeral would be held soon, and although he knew he had to go, he didn't want to. He wanted to stay at home and sleep, doing his best to ignore the previous events. He lay in bed, staring at the plain white ceiling. The clock beside him said that it was 12:00, so he decided to get out of bed and do his best at holding it together. A black sweater was thrown on the ground in front of Dan's closet, and Phil reached over and pulled it over his head. It smelled like scented candles and coffee.
He knew that if Dan was still here, he would want Phil to continue on, tell others the news, find someone new to love. So that's what he decided to do.
He made his way to the door. Each step was painful, and once he got to the living room he had to sit down on the couch for a break. Simply breathing was painful. He would have much preferred to be with Dan, where ever Dan was. Maybe when his body gave up he could be back with his friend, the two of them, forever. He dwelled on this thought, as it seemed to be the only strand of hope he could grasp onto.
He stood back up again, and continued his slow journey to the kitchen. Two boxes of cereal were sat on the counter, and he grabbed one blindly. He ate it straight from the box, the dry cereal rough on his tongue.
After finishing half of the box, he got back up and grabbed his filming equipment. Dan wanted him to tell their subscribers what had happened, so he followed his words. He would upload it to Dan's channel, being that it was his death, not Phil's.
He pressed record on the camera.
"Hey guys," he started, feeling a lump form in his throat. "I, uh, need to tell you guys something. Dan Howell, well, he's dead."
He continued talking in a shaky voice, explaining what had happened, why it happened, the nature of his relationship with Dan, his last words, everything. It felt so good to get it out. By the end of the recording, his eyes were bright red and there were tears flowing freely down his cheeks.
"And I suppose, if it were Dan making this video, he'd want to say, goodbye Internet."
Phil leaned forwards and shut off the camera. No fancy editing for this video, no jump cuts, nothing. He would simply upload it to the channel.
He slowly made his way to Dan's computer to upload the video, but when he entered the dead boy's room he noticed a box sitting on the dresser. It was the box that held the PINOF 1 questions. Phil opened it up carefully, and he gasped when he saw what was inside. The usual paper was in it still, but resting on top was a sticky note with messy writing and an engagement ring.