Beautiful Things - Solangelo

8. Say hello to the stars

(Will's POV)

We drive. I have still no idea where we're going, at some point we left the town and now we're driving through the nowhere.
I have stopped asking Nico any questions, it's not like he would answer anyway, so we just sit quietly in the car for almost one hour until Nico stops.
At this point, I may add, we have already been driving on a muddy road that looked pretty abandoned for a proper while.

Nico gets out of the car and I follow him, and that's what I do when he starts to walk straight up into the woods that surround us.
We both stumble over the ground and run into trees and I already start wondering if Nico may have lost every sanity when he suddenly stops.
I'm breathing a little bit to fast 'Are you doing this regularly?'
'I haven't in a proper while. I was here the week we moved here, never again.'
'Why?' And what even is here? Here is nothing.
'Why I didn't came here more often? I had no car, I guess.'
'And now...'
'Shut up.'

He walks past the few trees right in front of him and I can't see him anymore, so I do the exact same thing.

And gasp.
We are surrounded by trees, but in front of us are a couple of little lakes, more waterholes, but to big to be puddles, between blank flat stones.
Above us are millions of stars. I havn't lived in a really big city, but still to big to see that many stars shining so bright.
The stars get reflected on the clear surface of the water that's all on the ground, there's no wind, so the water doesn't move and it looks like standing in the middle of stars, little glowing lights.

It really is beautiful.
'That's -'
'Shut up.' his voice sounds softer this time.
We walk along the water, now and then tripping, but not saying a word and then we sit down on one of the biggest stones, about as big as my whole room.

I wonder how Nico could stay away from here for so long, from the silence and this incredible, breathtaking place.

Nico seems to wonder about this to, he doesn't even move, he's just sitting there, looking up to the sky and having all the stars reflected in his big eyes. I think he might be smiling again, at least almost.

It isn't exactly cold, but after a while I put an arm around Nico and he doesn't pull away, so I guess it's okay.

'Have you been here alone the last time?' I look at him. I know he said I should shut up, but he doesn't this time.
'No.'
'Who?' I shouldn't be jealous. I am not. Not really, it's good that he wasn't alone. It just would have been even better if it would have been with me.
'Bob. Our old caretaker.' he sounds sad, so I try not to, but I can't help giving him a strange look.
'I had to help him with stuff around the school, as a punishment, and then he took me here. I think there weren't many people that even talked to him and he was a kind person. I liked him.' he really does sound sad.
'What happened?'
'An accident. Fell down the stairs at school. They put him into hospital, but I don't think anyone thought he would make it. He didn't thought he would. I was the only person to visit him. He asked me to say hello to the stars when I visited him. The same evening he died.' I think he's crying now.
It's not fair. That he has to lose everyone he cares for, his mother, his sister, the caretaker who showed him the stars. And me.
'But you didn't came here?' I say instead of something helpful.
'No. Not alone. It's - so much, you know?' the stars are still in his eyes, on the water, in the sky. It's really to much.
'That's the point, with all the beautiful things. At some point they get to much, that's why things need an end.'

He lets his head rest on my shoulder. I could kiss him, probably he wouldn't even mind, but it could be to much. To much for now.

'Have you ever been in love?' he asks now 'I mean really, completely. Big. More.'
'You mean this, when it's beautiful and sad at the same time? When you just start to laugh and cry at the same time out of nowhere and you could smile all day, but it hurts to much to even open your eyes? When it feels like a warm hug in wich someone stabs you in the stomach and you want to say thank you?'
'Yes. Have you?'
'Yes.'
'Who?'
'Not 'who?'. 'What?' Or maybe both.'
Now Nico looks confused.
'Everything. Everyone. Every second. Because there are so many beautiful things, and so many painful ones and everyone is so filled with anger and hate and at the same time so full of love. The whole world, the whole universe, every single living thing. All these things that are to big to think about and to small to even be seen.'
'You always say things like this.' Nico smiles at me again and I smile back.
'Of course.'

I shouldn't have left him. Never.
I pull him closer. As close as possible. Almost to much.

Oh, fuck it. There isn't something like to much. Not right now, under all these stars.
And then I kiss him.