The Devil and I.

The Descent.

After the funeral I had nothing, I became nothing. Drugs are actually quite easy to obtain when you know how. It was so easy to lose myself when I knew no one loved me anymore, when I knew no one would care if if I disappeared off the face of the earth. Through that lifestyle I made some new friends, they never told me their real names but I knew them as Newt and Dolly. Together we was always lying in Newt's dirty one bedroom, bathroom at the end of the hall, flat. They often asked to go to my house because it was cleaner and more private but my mother lived there all her things were still there, it was my home it shouldn't be mixed with drugs. As mean as it is to say this Newt's place was more fitting.
We was happy to be in that haze, in the haze we forgot each of our problems; Newt watched his brother die after a knife fight when he was 8 and Dolly was abused for years by her uncle, who wasn't actually her uncle but a family friend. Here we lay three damaged people finding comfort in a buzz. "Dolly, Em, let's go out tonight I'm fed up of kicking around here. Let's go and have some real fun"
"What do you think Em?"
"Well Dolly I think Newt wants to pull a nice little birdy"
And like that we was getting ready to go to a night club. Newt was in his trade mark hat which covered his curly brown hair, light blue jeans and a white polo shirt. Dolly in a right above the knee red dress with knee high black wedged boots. And myself? I was in a short mini black dress with black heeled booties. Our fashion always suggested something about our personalities; Newt was always lay back so he always wore casual clothes, Dolly loved wearing red it was her favourite colour but she hated having her legs on show so wore tall boots, and myself black just made me feel invisible. We were determined to have a good time, we hadn't been out drinking for a while. Our look may have gave the wrong impression but hey it was a night club it's not like we were going to a high class joint. No, where we was going it was like sometimes being throw into a vipers pit. This was our favourite club it was called "the descent". The reason behind the name? It was decorated in black, every wall, every floor, every door, I easily faded into the background. Every person who went in there was sinning like hell and believe me they loved it, let's face it I wasn't exactly dragged in kicking and screaming.
Drinking was our favourite past time, apart from drugs. We don't really leave Newt's flat unless it's to go home after the buzz has died down but we met in a bar like this one.
The club wasn't as full as it has been but it was still filled with smoke and loud music. A few people scattered around but the amount of people in the room wasn't important, the bar was the goal. The promised land of alcohol lay before us but Newt turned to me, took me by both arms and said "Em, go get us a booth."
"Newt there are loads of booths it's not like this place is jumping plus you don't know what I want to drink."
"Em, how long have I known you? I know what you want to drink anyway I want to talk to Dolly."
I looked at Dolly; who was stunning with her long blonde hair, green eyes with perfect makeup, and glorious body, I got the hint, smiled at him and left to get a booth. Me and Dolly were the same age, Newt a little older. We all gelled together quite well, and since day one I knew Newt fancied Dolly. Who wouldn't.
I watched them at the bar, there was a lot of touching happening, a lot of whispering following the touching. Dolly laughs and kisses Newt, I have no idea what he said but it worked, they cuddle and he spots me over Dolly's shoulder and gives me the thumbs up. Even though we was high most the time, they was perfect for each other. In those brief moments of sober thoughts they were so right for each other.
After a few rounds, Newt and Dolly were up dancing. The club was still pretty low on patrons but they didn't care. I sat alone as I normally do, even in a crowded club barely anyone would try to pick me. Longish black hair, muddy brown eyes with flicks of gold, and freckles dotted about my face making me look younger top that with my pale skin and I look both sick and young.
My eyes flicked over to the bar and spotted a tall, ginger haired boy was staring over at me. He lifted his beer up to me in a kind of salute fashion and with the good nature of the club I raised my drink back at him and starting listening more deeply to the music playing. With my eyes closed I pictured swirls of colour,forever changing like looking down the lens of a kaleidoscope. Music was a different kind of high, the lyrics can make you happy, make you devastatingly sad and every emotion in between. Music is a different kind of portal to escape memories mostly by excepting they happened, whatever the mood of the song, the memories that made you write the song are taken and shared by many which makes them reflect on similar memories. They prove an event happened in your life and no matter how you felt about it, it was real. I heard someone clear their throat and when I opened my eyes I came to find tall and ginger with a fresh beer and a bottle of wkd, he placed the blue drink in front of me and sat on the chair opposite. " Hello Emily."
"Well hello tall and ginger." I didn't question why he knew my name when I was out drinking I was here and pretty well acquainted with the bar staff, he probably just asked Millie who was at the bar now. He also didn't falter when I called him tall and ginger actually he laughed at me for doing so.
"Did you ask Millie about what I drink?"
"Actually no. I only raised my glass to you so I could see which one of these was yours."
We both started laughing, normal people might have been creeped out but honestly I just found it funny because of how smooth the guy is. He took a swig of his beer and looked at Newt and Dolly then proceeded to lift his drink to them, "Well don't they make a sweet couple." I guessed maybe he was a regular too but I've never seen him.
"Sorry, but do I know you?"
"Actually Emily, you don't."
"Oh...so are you a friend of Newt's? Or Dolly?"
"No Emily, you don't know me. They don't know me. But I've always been here."
"So you are a regular? You do look familiar to me." Instead of answering he just looked and me and continued drinking. I took his answer to be a yes, maybe because it was easier than to ask more questions. Newt clocked him, then Dolly looked over and both came back over to us. "Newt, Dolly, this is tall and ginger, tall and ginger this is Newt and Dolly." He may have known who they was but they didn't know who he was, and honestly neither did I all I did know is I am not drinking what he brought me. I've heard the stories as soon as I have a chance I'm going to discard it when I have the chance. Newt and tall and ginger struck up a long conversation, this guys seemed familiar to us but we just couldn't place it. "Em, come to the bathroom with me please?" All hail Dolly and her need to be escorted everywhere I took the wkd to the bathroom with me so I could put it down the sink. We left the boys and went to the black bathroom with silver mirrors, considering this place was a dive the bathroom was really clean. "Em, it's official! We are together!"
" Finally!" We both started laughing ending in a hug.
"Here, can you hold my bag. I do need to use the toilet this wasn't just an excuse to chat."
"Anything for you babe." As soon as the door shut I pore most of the drink down the sink, I would leave the glass here but it would look suspicious but if I leave a bit in it would look like I had a drink of it whilst I was with Dolly. On the way back to the boys, tall and ginger stared at me with his cold blue eyes and suddenly my head was spinning like I was suddenly more drunk than I was. I put it down to the walking, my head does this from time to time. "Guys I'm just going for air."
Tall and ginger stood up, "Mind if I come out with you?"
"Erm... sure." When we were leaving I look at Newt, we both shared a worried and nervous look but I went with him none the less. I knew it might have been a stupid thing but my head was getting worse and it was making me feel sick. The crisp cold air was welcoming the decent was always so warm it was like being roasted alive.
"You haven't asked my name yet."
"Well it adds to the mystery doesn't it? Being nameless in a bar, chatting to me and my friends with no name is so...so mysterious."
I had to giggle at my own lack of words, maybe the drink was getting to me now but I didn't mind we would be leaving soon. I looked around the street, there was nothing but mist which at first felt strange but just before I pointed it out I looked into his eyes again and I felt a weird sensation of comfort. "Morgan. My name is Morgan."
"Ah, you've just blown the suspense." He laughed at me. The feeling of comfort grew until I felt like I had been sedated, it was so quiet it was loud but I stayed there because in a small way I missed the feeling of comfort and I had found I was in no fit state before I left the room but now I felt almost sober. Newt and Dolly came up the stairs, Dolly was holding my coat and Newt was holding Dolly.
"I thought you left you've been gone for ages!"
"Oh don't exaggerate."
"Em, it's been two hours, you must be freezing!" He nudged Dolly and she handed me my coat, Morgan helped me with putting it on.
"Em...do you want me to walk you home?" Newt's eyes shifted to Morgan and I could tell he didn't trust this guy and by that I knew I shouldn't either but I heard a voice in my head that wasn't my own, it was my mother whispering "let Morgan take you home sweetheart. Newt has enough to handle with Dolly. You will only be in the way."
Most people would be freaked out to hear the voice of their mother long since dead but I wasn't most people I was a druggie who was drunk with a random cute guy. "No Newt I'll be okay. Don't worry about me you just get Dolly home, she looks like she needs her bed." Newt looked unsure on whether to leave or not but Dolly pulled on his shirt, "Newt, Em is a big girl she can," she stopped, as if she forgot what she was talking about but then picked her train of thought back up again "she can take care of her self"
"Newt she clearly needs to sleep this off take her home, I'll be fine!"
"Text me or Doll in the morning okay?"
"Yes dad" and with that Newt half carrying half dragging Dolly went home leaving me with Morgan.
If I knew then what I know now about what Morgan was I would have never said, "so...wanna come back to mine?"  At first he looked unsure but he still followed me all the same back to my house. If I was going to be any type of nothing I may as well have been a cheap nothing.