Half of my Heart.

Starting Afresh.

Hello again! Sorry for the long period of no updates! Got a bit stuck on what to do! Anyway, I really appreciate you reading this! So please vote and continue reading, I promise that it'll hopefully get better! Thank you! Much love x

My heart was pounding as I sat down next to him, "What about?" I asked.

He pushed his hand back through his hair, with an embarrassed look on his face, "about me and you."

I knew this day would come. 

We had never really talked about why he had broken up with me, or how either of us felt.

I never understood properly, why he ended it. 

I understand it was long distance, and was hard, but I assumed we were doing great.

I most certainly was on the wrong wavelength.

But then again I always seem to be because I'm that kind of person.

An idiot.

"Right.." I sighed, "umm- I guess we should really."

I really didn't want to.

"Well to begin with-I guess- are, are you okay?" he asked.

Am I okay? Oh yeah sure, totally fine with you breaking my heart. It didn't hurt..

WHAT DO YOU THINK??!!

"I guess so, "I replied calmly, "it was two months ago Brandon. I am starting to get over it."

I think..

I saw a pained look on his face, but I continued, deciding to really go for, "you have no idea how upset I was. I felt broken, unwanted. Do you realise how much you actually hurt me?"

He nodded, "I think I have an idea.."

That made me angry, he had an idea? It was his own fault for ending it!

Awww! Sorry you were upset Brandon.. well I guess you should have thought about it before!

"No you don't!! You ignored me for days, and then decided that we needed to talk?! Yeah all of two minutes! You always had this talk of me and you in the future, of what we would do, where we would go. Of who we would be. You talked about how I was the only girl you ever saw and how you would always love me. You said you would never let me. You promised me. Do remember that?"

He looked down and nodded his head. I was breathing really heavily, tyring to calm myself down. I don't know whether he wanted me to continue or not, but to be honest, I didn't care. I needed to get this all out.

I had kinda calmed down , so I continued, "Yeah well good. I hope you do, because that was the memory that kept on going round my head when we broke up. It still even does now."

I remember the moment like it was yesterday:

"I'm just going to get a drink, "I say to Brandon and his Dad, Alan. Brandon gave me a suspicious look, but I can't even look at him, I'm gonna cry any second now. I get up off the sofa and walk out of the room to the Kitchen. Alan had be asking after my brother and the divorce with his ex-wife, Liz.. This has always been a sore subject for me, I always seem to break down in tears when I talk about the whole thing. It just makes me so sad. I grab a glass out of the cupboard and run the tap, I feel tears beginning appear in my eyes. I take a sip of the water trying to not concentrate on the whole situation.

"Kathy, are you okay?" Brandon comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist.

I can't let him see me crying, I don't want to make it all depressing for him.