Change In Pressure

DIX-NEUF

I stirred in my sleep, and then I realized that I was on one of our sofas – and I was an inch away from the edge, and faling off, so I rolled back over.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, the room lay silent, but I could hear the distant noises of Jane in the kitchen.

I went upstairs and got changed into some clothes for today – just jeans and a t-shirt, since I'm probably not going far out of the house. Once my hair was up, and I'd applied a bit of makeup, I returned back downstairs.

Jane caught me before I walked into the kitchen "quick, Alex I think he's waking up"

I ran immediately into the living room, and over to the sofa that Matty was sprawled out on.

I bent down to him, and ran my fingers through his tangled hair, as I watched his tired eyes begin to open.

"Matty, it's okay, I'm here," I said to him quietly.

"Where am I?" he mumbled.

"You're in my house, love"

His face went confused, "I thought I wasn't allowed here"

Okay, so, it's clear he doesn't remember last night at all. And he's probably not going to want to stay here either, not with my mother around. But he has to, because I'm not letting him go home, he's staying here with me. And Jane's here to take care of him, he needs to be looked after, otherwise something stupid will happen again.

"My mother invited you over last night" I said "but you were a bit..."

He finished my sentence "stupid, ridiculous, over reactive"

"No! Not at all! Matty, stop thinking that about yourself, you're making it worse. If you have a positive attitude towards things then maybe you won't feel as bad about them. You're fine, it was just another little thing okay?"

"Yeah, but there's too many little things. Alex, I'm not okay at all. Have you seen me? I look like a mess, I act like a mess, and now that mess is clearly spilling onto you too"

"No it isn't, I'm here to help you, because I love you. I want to make sure that you're okay, because you mean the world to me"

I looked into his tired, sad eyes. He's right. There's no use trying to fix something that's already broken. He's broken all over, and no matter how hard I try, he just keeps getting himself into more situations like this. He refuses proffesional help, and he has nobody else – I'm all he's got. And no matter what it takes, I'm going to make sure that he's fine, even if he protests, I want to be happy.

"I don't mean the world to anyone, and it's pointless trying to change me because you'll leave like the rest of my girlfriends, and my family. See, I'm too much for anyone to handle, nobody bothers with me, nobody cares"

"I care"

We sat for a moment, and looked into each other's eyes. Jane had left the room, and it stood quiet. I kissed him "Why don't we get some breakfast?"

He gave a slight smile, and nodded. Then I helped him up and we went into the kitchen.

As soon as we got in, I spotted my mother standing at the counter with her back to us.

"Mother, can we get some breakfast?" I asked.

She turned around "Oh! He's awake, how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright, I guess," Matty mumbled.

"Okay, well I'll take that positively" she walked over to him, and forced a smile "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Mrs. Hastings"