I guess you gave me hope (Destiel)

Chapter 8

I miss Switzerland so much :( Here is a lovely new chapter for you all! Angst, fluff and a plot twist. ENJOY :)

Weeks passed and Dean wasn’t recovering. John's death hit Dean arder than anyone thought it would. Cas guessed that even after everything, John was still a sort of role model to Dean and more specifically, John was still Dean's father. Cas did everything he could think of to try and get Dean to talk and maybe even smile but Dean just sat in his flat and stared at the wall. Once every few hours he would sigh and get a beer from the fridge but then he would go and sit somewhere else and not move again.

Dean didn’t eat. Well, not when Cas was around but Cas could see Dean getting progressively thinner. As far as Cas could tell Dean hadn’t left the house since that day. Cas couldn’t sleep in his own flat knowing that the one he loved was just a few houses away dying from the inside, out. Cas had taken to sleeping on Dean’s bed, seeing as Dean didn’t use it anyway, but he never really slept. Dean was pale and thin and looked like death but Cas was deteriorating at almost the same speed. They say if someone is your soul mate you could feel their pain just as much as they can and Cas cold feel everything like a dagger in his heart. That’s what confused Cas the most. How could Dean be his soul mate if angels didn’t have souls? Why was this affecting him as it was?

“Dean.”

Nothing.

“DEAN!”

Nothing.

Cas could feel all his emotions building up inside him.

“DEAN GODDAMMIT TALK TO ME.”

By this point Cas was screaming and Dean jumped but stayed silent.

“Fuck it.”

Cas stormed out of the flat and slammed the door behind him.

Slowly Dean stood up. He looked in the mirror and grimaced. What had he done to himself but more importantly, what had he done to Cas? The lost look in Cas’ eyes when he had screamed at Dean was seared in his memory. How long had he been like this? Dean glanced at the calendar and let out a yelp. 14th of February? He’d been out for weeks! Right then, Dean drew the line. This had to stop now. He had gone too far. He needed to pull himself together and fast because if he didn’t, he was going to break everything around him. Including Cas.

Dean walked to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. He let the warm water flow over his body and felt it wash all the shit that had happened over the past weeks down the drain. Dean was starting afresh. He pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a black t-shirt and got to work. Cas would probably be home around 6 and it was now 1 so Dean was pushed for time if he wanted to make this perfect.

He pulled out a dusty Jamie Oliver cookbook that had been lurking in the back of a cupboard for years but Dean had never had the time or will power to actually use it. In the end Dean settled for a relatively simple yet nice curry. He opened the fridge but closed it in one swift motion. The fridge apparently hadn’t been cleaned in weeks. Holding his breath Dean shoved everything in a big black bin bag and put it in the bins outside. He grabbed his wallet on the way out and started down the road towards the supermarket.

After about an hour and a half Dean was walking back to the flat with 6 bags of food fit for at least a family of 10 but he didn’t care. He unpacked the shopping and got to work on the curry. The recipe was more complicated than it seemed but Dean worked through it methodically and after another 2 hours he had created a nice and just about edible dish. He went into the last shopping bag and emptied its contents onto the table. Dean had bought loads of stuff from the Valentine’s Day stall in the supermarket. He had candles, a tablecloth, napkins and rose petals. He was a sucker for romance and he figured Cas would appreciate it.

By 5:30 everything was ready and Dean was satisfied. Dean went to put on a clean t-shirt as, during the process, he had managed too get all sorts of ingredients down his top while creating his curry.

Tiredly, Cas walked up to the door of Dean’s flat. Cas didn’t know why he even bothered. He was spending Valentine’s Day with his boyfriend only the twist was his boyfriend wasn’t speaking and he was going to spend the night crying. The heart is a complicated thing.

Cas sighed and hung his coat up and noticed Dean’s leather jacket.

“Funny.” Cas thought. “Dean’s coat was up in his room last time I checked.”

Cas shrugged it off and dragged himself up the stairs. Cas pushed the door open and gasped. The room was dimly lit and candles lined the surfaces. There were rose petals on the floor and the table was set beautifully for two.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas from behind and Cas turned to face him.

“What have I done to you Cas?” Dean whispered as he traced the week old tear marks and dark circles around his boyfriend’s eyes. Cas said nothing but flung his arms around Dean’s neck.

“I’m sorry Cas.”

“Dean I’m just glad you’re back.”

“Hey I made the dinner myself so you’d better eat it.”

The two boys smiled. Each had missed the other’s smile more than they could say.

Cas sat down and Dean placed the curry in the centre of the table.

“Dean it looks amazing.” Cas leaned over the table and pecked Dean’s lips.

Dean blushed. He felt a hunger for Cas’ kisses. How had he gone weeks without them?

The two boys ate in silence just enjoying the peace and company. Dean thought about the last weeks. How he just takes Cas for granted. He relied on Cas for everything what with him being and angel and not needing sleep and food and-

“Hold on. Cas you don’t need sleep. You’re an angel. What happened to you?”

Cas sighed. “Love... is complicated.”

“Care to explain feathers?”

“I think... I think my grace is leaving me. I can feel my wings fading but you know what? I don’t mind.”

Dean didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t mind that I’m becoming human. I don’t care because it means I can spend the rest of my life with you.”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas across the table.

“I’ll be your wings, Cassie.”

Cas laughed and Dean cleared the table.