Stranded

Six

Nate's POV

"Honey Bear could you get me some berries please?" Levi asks Drew

"Cuddle Bunch no get it your self" Drew replies

"But I'm tired Lover" Levi says, I roll my eyes at their conversation. Normal people don't use nicknames in every sentence they say.

"So am I babe"

I'm going to punch one of them in the face, not literally but this is doing my head in.
"You're a bum hole, sugar"

"Will you two toilet cloggers shut up?" I say in an annoyed tone, they stop and look at me.

"Sorry lil one, Leviiiiii come with me to the Waterfall" Drew says standing up, Levi follows after him and they walk into the woods. Sighing I run my hand through my fluffy hair, being stranded means I can't sort my hair which sucks a lot. It's not even in a quiff anymore it's just a fluff side fringe. It's been 4 days now, I feel like I'm going insane. I have a bad case of homesickness, I'm so confused about my feelings, I hate being out here, most the time I'm just thinking about the hate that I've been getting. The boys get hate too its not even that bad it's just like 'fag' or 'You can't sing go die' just people looking for attention. I know sometimes they had worse but somehow they managed to ignore it, I don't understand why I can't. Every little comment I see hurts me more, I guess it's good that I can't use my phone here but that doesn't mean it's going to stop. As far as I know nobody knows we're missing.

Everything has just been piling on top of me add being stranded to the list, when we went clubbing to celebrate the first world tour I might have over done it. I had enough and that was the one time I could drink crap loads and no one would question me, so I did. Apparently I managed to pass out as well, I didn't say a word for three days. I was lost in thought, I fell into a whirlwind of thoughts and couldn't get out. Decides it's not like I had anything to say in the first place, Levi seemed to be the most patient with me. He wouldn't bother me to talk he would just sit there with me and I guess look after me? He made me feel the slightest bit more safe. That slightest bit is a lot to me in a way, Drew he tried hard too. I really do appreciate it but I feel I have a weird way of showing it. They both make me special? Don't get me wrong Austin does that too but in a different way a friendly way I guess.

Like I said I'm confused about my feelings, lately I've myself thinking been thinking about them a lot. Mainly Levi man that guy is always on my mind, then there's Drew and ugh I just want to scream. When Drew asked me what was wrong the other day I just broke down, it kinda felt nice to let go and just cry. I have been through a lot I just needed to let go, I've started talking now. Not a lot as you can tell but I am talking, Con he's talked to me quite a lot making sure I'm okay. Then there's Austin always making sure everyone's good, sometimes i feel he needs to think about himself a little bit more.

I do admit I have been out of it, my thoughts have taken over me I guess yesterday I managed to catch up on everything that happened. I found out that James and Tristan are now dating, that shocked me I never actually realised they liked each other and both of them were in relationships with girls. I don't mind though they're really cute together, Austin thinks that Brad and Con will be together before we ever leave this place. I don't know what's up with Drew and Levi, they seem to have gotten a lot closer. Maybe they're secretly dating. I wouldn't be surprised everybody ships those two, I have stay out of it so I don't ruin anything.

If they did come out as couple I would probably break into a million pieces, they've become such a big impact on my life to the point where I've actually fallen in love. Just thinking about this makes me think of our song Falling in love tonight, I hate the fact that I'm slowly breaking down my walls for them. That they have taken me out my comfort zone to something new, it's exciting yet strange I don't know how to feel. I'm normally strong and know what to do but now everything's changed maybe for the better, I'm letting them take care of me. I'm letting them make me fall for them and I can't bring myself not to.

A while ago I thought maybe I was depressed, I would have suicidal thoughts seeing all the horrible things people would say. I have become self conscious, my self esteem as gone down. I'm constantly worried by what people think, whenever things go wrong I blame myself and only me. Some people have noticed that I haven't been 'myself ', maybe I just haven't found myself yet. I don't think I'm depressed people can feel sad for a short while some longer than others I just don't know how long mine is going to last.

"Nate!"

I jump and look around, someone chuckles and I look up to see Austin. "Welcome back to earth bud" he laughs, I roll my eyes. "I've been trying to get your attention for at least 10 minutes" he says and I blush

"Sorry just thinking" I mumble, he smiles

"Don't worry about it, everything alright you seem to be thinking a lot" he asks and I shrug

"Nah not really" I answer, honestly I feel like shit. He sits closer to me and nods suggesting I should continue. I tell him mainly everything, I tell him my 'feelings', my thoughts on the boys, how I'm a little homesick. By the end I feel so much better like he weight that was on my chest has eased up a little I can breath.

He pulls me into a hug and rubs my back "you can always talk to me y'know" had says, I nod pulling away

"Thanks I will just a little scared s'all" I explain and he nods, he pats me knee and smirks when Drew and Levi get back.

I sigh,

Here comes trouble.