Not Your Average Nerd

Breaking Apart

Aiden and me finally separate, collapsing beside each other on my bed, sweating like pigs, completely naked.

Our breathing were coming out like pants. I couldn't catch mine whatsoever due to what had just happened between me and Aiden. Speaking of which...

"That shouldn't of happened..." I muttered to myself. I threw an arm over my eyes.

Aiden moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my bare chest. He kisses my shoulder. "Why are you being so negative about it? You've slept with tons of guys, Aaron." I sigh and shake my head, pushing him off me.

"But I actually like you, Aiden. Which is confusing me. I don't know if I just had meaningless sex with you, or just made love to you. I'm so fucking confused." I sit on the edge of my bed, closing my eyes. I wish I could get that feeling of Aiden out of my head. I was stupid. We were stupid.

The last three hours shouldn't of happened.

Aiden leans over and rubs my back softly, kissing my thigh. "We made love, Aaron. I love you. And I know you love me. No matter what you think."

I look down at him, his head beside my leg. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Last night easily told me everything."
I furrowed my eyebrows, mad. I pulled away from him and stood, looking down at him. He lay sideways on my bed, naked. He had no shame in his body which just made me want more. But I clentched my fists and turned my head away.

"All that was was anger. Because of you."

His brows shot up. "Oh, so now your blaming me again? You're the one that lied. And you're still doing it!"

"I wasn't lying when I said I liked you and didn't want to hurt you! But you are so fucking stubborn!"

He got off the bed and loomed over me. "And if I wasn't stubborn, then you never would've fallen for me!"

"Why do you keep thinking I love you?! I've made it clear that I don't believe in love!"

"You're lying again! Would it kill you to tell the truth for once?!" I step to him and shove his chest. "Would it kill you to shut up?! You're making it seem like I still like Luke or something!"

"Oh so he's Luke now? When did that nickname come up?!"

"I've always called him that! After all. I've known him a hell of a lot longer than you!"

We are just repeating exactly of what happened earlier. And we're getting no where.

"Yea, you've also fucked him a lot more than me!"

"Because I don't like him! That's why you jackass! Why won't that stick in that hard head of yours?!"

"Once again, that's so fucking stupid. I have tried so hard for you to just see how much I love you and every time you shove me away like a piece of shit! Do you hate me or something!?"

I step right to him. All of my bare body pressed to his. Our skin seeming to fit just right together.

I looked right into his bright blue eyes. "No. I'm afraid of loving you. I'm afraid of what I'll do if I love you. I am afraid if hurting you. That's the reason, Aiden. And I'm not. Lying."