coffee & cigarettes || skins uk // Sid Jenkins

ten // moments

"You're fucking crazy." I laughed, putting my phone on speaker.
"I was drunk! I apologized to Jal for puking in her purse." Sid laughed.
I leaned back into my spinny chair.
"I'm so bored." We both said in unison. I laughed. "Why don't you come over?" He asked. I sat up. "I would but it's almost midnight." I replied. "And your point is..?" I hear him say. "You can stay the night, we can watch a movie, maybe smoke some cigs, make some coffee-" "fine, I'm coming." I hung up laughing. I grabbed some stuff. A change of clothes, makeup, phone charger, you know, the essentials.

--

I arrived at his flat and just walked in. I was so glad that we were getting so close that I could just walk in to his apartment with no warning. It was great. I got close to his room and I heard him talking to himself.

I didn't want to snoop, but I did anyway.

"Fuck, Sid. You're an idiot."

I scrunched my face in confusion. What the hell was he on about?

"God, I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, but I know I can't. I just-" he took a deep breath. "We haven't even kissed yet. It's too soon."

It went silent, and I thought this was my que to come in.

"Knock knock. Can I come in? Too bad I'm already in." I said, throwing my bag onto the floor, proceeding to flop on his bed.
He rolled his eyes and laughed.
"Only you."

He sat next to me. "What do you want to do?" He asked me. I sat up so I was closer to him. "Music?" I suggested. "Right on." He replied, putting on a Coldplay song. 
"Luna,"

"Yeah?"
"I read something in your journal earlier." He twiddled his thumbs.
"About?" I questioned.
He stood up and began to pace.
"I..erm..I didn't know you self-harmed."
"Oh.." I said, my eyes trailed off somewhere. I just couldn't look at him.
"I'm not going to ask why because I know why." He began. "You're sad. About your asshole ex, your parents separation, relationships or as you put it 'incapable of love'" he said to me.
I nodded, standing up to meet him.

"Why do you think you're incapable of being loved or in love?"
That question rang though my head a few times.

"Well, you see," I closed my eyes. "Brad left me because I was too clingy, but that's all Ive ever known. I don't know any better, Sid." I said sadly.  He nodded, following along.
"And..I don't know. He said I was fat, and ugly. And after a while I started to believe it." I blinked. "And he also said I was a bad kisser. And it's now one of my biggest insecurities."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He sat down and insisted I did the same. "You're not fat, you're definitely not ugly,"

I smiled. "Thank you."

"As for the kissing thing, I wouldn't know." He smiled.
"Would you like to be the judge of that?" I asked, smiling big, my heart racing.
"Yes please." He said, brushing my hair out of my face.
He leaned in, as did I. Moments passed. And then my lips met his.