Trust (Sequel to Fire and Ice)

Chapter Three

     The next day, I decide to call in sick to work out of exhaustion.  It's two o'clock in the afternoon and I'm sitting on the couch watching TV when I hear I knock on the door.  I answer it, and Connor is standing outside.

     "Hey." I greet him.  I walk back into the kitchen, motioning to him to come in.

     "I just wanted to check on you." he says.  "How are you doing?"  I sigh, not wanting to go through with this again.

     "I'm fine, Connor."  I lie.  

     "Why do I feel like you're lying to me?" he asks, sitting at the table.  

     "You sound like Emmett." I say, avoiding his question.

     "See, I knew there was something I liked about that guy!" he jokes, smirking.  "You ever think about not lying about how you're feeling?  It helps, you know."

     "I'm not doing this again." I say, groaning.  "You came to check up on me, and I'm fine.  If that's all you want, then you can leave." I point to the door, and he looks hurt.  "Sorry."  I apologize, looking down. 

     "We just worry about you, Amy."  He says.  

     "I know, and I don't deserve it."  I reply.  "All I do is push you guys away."

     "Would we really try helping you if you didn't deserve it?  Sure, you're being difficult, but we care about you, so it's okay."  I laugh and look up at him again.  He's smiling at me kindly.  

     "I don't know why you bother with me."

     "Well, I kind of have to." He jokes.  "It's part of the whole brother gig.  You'll have to ask Emmett his reason though.  I'm still trying to understand it."  I punch his arm playfully.  "But, seriously, do you want to talk about it?"  Dammit, I thought we were changing the subject.  

     "I think that Emmett's getting frustrated with me." I answer quietly.  "He thinks that I don't talk about how I'm feeling enough."  

     "He is kinda right." Connor reminds me.  "When was the last time you answered somebody honestly when they asked if you were okay?"  I remain silent, realizing that he's right.  "Exactly."

     "It's just hard." I mumble.  "It's not that I don't trust you guys, because I do.  I just don't want to burden you guys with my shit."  You know, on top of them having to rescue me all the time because I'm incapable of being a superhero now.

     "You're not a burden." he replies.  "You being a burden would imply that we don't want to be here for you.  That's bullshit."   I smile at this.

     "Thanks." I say.  "I really appreciate it.  I'll tell you about it at some point, I'm just trying to deal with it on my own right now."  He sighs.

     "Okay."  He says.  "I'll be here for you when you do."  

     "Thank you."

     "I have to go." He gets up.  "I told Lexi I would pick her up from work so we could hang out at my apartment."

     "Have fun." I say, winking at him and smirking.  "But if you get my best friend pregnant, I'll kill you."  He just rolls his eyes, not denying the fact that there's something going on between the two of them.  I get up and hug him.  "Bye loser."

     "Bye."  He leaves, and I'm left alone again to think.

     I know that I should tell Emmett how I'm feeling.  He just wants to help me and I'm hurting him by keeping it all in.  Suddenly, my cell phones rings, interrupting my thoughts.  It's Emmett.

     "Hey." I answer it.  "What's up?"

     "Are you busy, like, right now?" he asks.

     "Yeah, why?"

     "Can I come by?  I need to talk to you."

     "Is everything okay?" I ask, concerned.  "You're not gonna break up with me or anything, are you?" I joke. 

     "No don't worry everything's fine.  I'll be there in a couple of minutes."  He hangs up and I'm left staring at the phone in confusion.  He said that everything is fine, but the tone of his voice made it sound urgent.  I'm still worried.  Finally, he walks into the apartment.  He looks exhausted, like he hasn't gotten any sleep in days.  He's actually been looking like that for a while now.

      "Are you okay?" I ask.  "When was the last time you got any sleep?"  We sit down next to each other on the couch.

      "That actually what I want to talk to you about." I look at him in confusion.  "I've been thinking about what we talked about last night."

     "I'm sorry, I know you want me to-" I start apologizing again, but he puts his hand up to stop me.

     "It's fine.  I understand.  But I've been thinking... I can't really expect you to be honest with me when I haven't really been honest with you."  He looks down awkwardly.

     "What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, afraid of what he's going to tell me.  

     "I've been having nightmares lately." He blurts out.

     "Why haven't you told me?" I ask, looking at him in concern.  "I could have helped you."  I grab his hand and squeeze it, letting him know he can talk about it.  

     "It's because of what they're about." He says, and his voice is trembling.  "I keep on seeing when I stabbed you when Alex was controlling me.  Because when I stabbed you, you didn't just pass out.  You died Amy."