Sunday 5th November
Fuck life. Fuck everything. She doesn't even know, and that ears me apart inside. Mum and Nick are getting married. She'll text me about that but not about my whereabouts?! Thats immensely fucked up! THEIR FUCKING GETTING MARRIED!
Mum: I have some news...
Me: K.
Mum: Me and Nick are getting married (:
Me: WTF MUM!?
Mum: And I want you to come home so we can all be a family, so Nick can be a Dad to you (:
Me: FUCK NO! HE WON'T EVER BE A DAD TO ME!
Mum: But you like Nick
Me: I use to, but you were always out working, you don't know what he did.
Mum: Then tell me, come round and we can talk.
Me: I won't, bye mum.
How? How is it possible that my life is getting worse? How is it possible that I can't stop myself from hurting myself? How am I still here? This is not how I should live. I shouldn't have to think of where my real dad is, I shouldn't have to worry about getting hurt by Nick, I shouldn't feel the only way I can cope is by hurting myself. This isn't how it should be.
This isn't how I should be.
Bonnie.
