Last First Kiss (One Direction FanFiction)

Broken

~Zayn's P.O.V.~

I was crushed inside. I was torn between Julia and my friendship with Harry. My feelings for Julia were something unexplainable but my friendship with Harry was something that should last forever. We were sitting together in the back of the car, of course all the boys had found out from Harry's outburst. I don't blame Harry for what he had done, if I was in that sort of situation I would of done exactly the same, mabye even worse. What I did to Julia was probably the worst thing I could ever of done, it killed her heart, her mind, my friendship with Harry and any possible friendship I could've had with her. It was like something came over me when I was with her, like there was some sort of overpowering emotion which drew me towards her. Harry wasn't looking at me, the same day we met Julia we were still like brothers and that was not the case anymore. Tears began to stream down my face and I buried my face in the side of our van. I didn't know what I was going to do about Perrie. She was coming back today, I wiped the tears away with the cuff of my jacket and grabbed my iPhone from my bag. I unlocked it and set my sights on the background image, it was of Perrie and I last month.

She was beautiful and yet so was Julia, her blonde hair was cascading gently past her shoulders that day and she was wearing a bandeau top and skirt. Perrie looked stunning that day, she was wearing our hat that we shared. The Zaynie hat. It didn't make me feel any better about what I'd done, it made me feel so much worse. Julia and Harry's relationship was teetering on the edge after what happened with her and I earlier but to my horror it had drawn them so much closer than I expected. A single tear fell onto the screen of my phone, I could hear Louis talking to Eleanor on the phone. They are an amazing couple and so are Liam and Danielle, they'd just finished talking on the phone and a grin was stuck on Liam's face. I had to call Perrie and invite her to the camp-out tomorrow. I began the call to her phone, she picked up after 3 rings and she sounded really tired but managed to cover it up with her overjoyed tone. I spoke to her in the sweet tone I always used with Perrie.

"Hey Zayn!"

"Hi Perrie, how was the tour babe?"

"Oh! It was amazing and we had such a good time, I'll send you the pics later on twitter. How was your tour?"

I couldn't smile after she'd said that, I pulled a serious face and looked out of the window.

"It could of been better but we had a great time though."

"Zayn, babe, you sound... Um... Sad. What's wrong? You can tell me."

I sighed a deep and heavy sigh, I think she could hear it over the phone because I heard whispering and more voices in the background.

"I just told Jade what you said and she thinks that you found a girl. I personally think that that is stupid and we are happily in love aren't we Zayn?"

My eyes clenched together and I pushed my fists against them, wanting only to see the revolving darkness but Julia's face kept appearing. I opened my eyes and my voice sounded drunk when I spoke.

"Yes babe, I love you very much. Look babe, I gotta go but I need to ask you something."

"Ohh!!! What is it??? Tell me!"

"Well, us boys and our girlfriends are going camping tomorrow, do you think you can be there, with me?"

She gasped through the phone and when she began to speak she sounded really excited.

"Omg! That sounds like so much fun!!! Yes! I'll be there, I'm free all this week!"

"That's good then, um... See you at Everview Campsite at 4pm tomorrow babe?"

"Sure thing Zayn! Can't wait! Love you loads!"

"Awesome, urr... Love you too babe."

I hung up the phone and looked up to see four pairs of curious eyes staring at me.

"What?" I muttered, I turned away again and faced the window to my right.

I was half expecting for Harry to say some cruel or vicious but I only heard Niall's gentle voice, "How could you speak to her like that? Your playing her like an electric guitar, Zayn."

I turned and looked into his kind and caring blue eyes, what he was saying was true but I didn't have the guts to admit it, he saw my face look blank and I don't know what he was trying to get out of me but oh boy, was he trying, "How can you not see it Zayn? Your obviously falling for Julia and pretending to love Perrie at the same time, do you know how terrible it would be for Perrie if she found out what you were doing? Do you know the feeling that it would send through her head when she finds out that your cheating on her and the girl your cheating on her with doesn't even want you Zayn?"

I shook my head foolishly, "I don't know what your talking about Niall, stop making thing-"

"ZAYN! You know damn well what Niall is trying to say! STOP playing this sick and cruel game of yours! You're going to kill Perrie's heart and we all know it!"

I had jumped at Harry's outburst even though I'd been expecting it but he added something, "What the hell do you think your doing to them?!? What the hell do you think your doing to my girlfriend!?!"

He snarled. Good question, what the hell was I doing to his girlfriend? My brain was clearly thoroughly confused at that moment in time, and extremely messed up too, "I just want to-"

"Harry stop."

Liam pushed his arm in front of Harry as he leaned fowards, "We know what Zayn is doing is extremely wrong, but it will all work out."

Harry pulled back reluctantly and threw a stare like daggers my way. I knew Liam had his way with words but I seriously didn't know what to do with this girl situation. I knew it was wrong and I knew I shouldn't be doing it but what choice had I? I simply couldn't get away from Julia and she wanted to get away from me. I couldn't stop thinking of Perrie, I had to break up with her but if she found out that I'd broken up with her for another girl that didn't want me she would be even more broken.

All I had done was gone and got people broken.

Well done Zayn...

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Ya, well done Zayn... :( Thanks for reading!!