Attack on Hetalia

Chapter 8: Weird Shit

A.N: Alright, well here's another one. I've been updating a lot these days cause I have more time than I care to admit. And also because if I update a shit-load now; I won't have to update later. HAZAH!!!!

Well, today's our last day of freedom. :(  I'm gonna cry. 

So last time Germany met a mysterious girl. And that's about it. WARNING: This chapter may contain cringe!!!!!!

Next day:

Everyone was up. They were all fine. Except China was still in a huff but does anyone really care? No. What we're most interested about is how Germany's gonna handle today. He spent the whole night trying to come up with an excuse to leave the lair-thing but couldn't come up with anything.

He was extremely nervous and thought about asking some of the others for help. Not a good idea. 

"Hey France, have you got any tips for first dates?"

"What?!?! Awhhawhaw But of course. You must dress elegantly and swoon the lady. Make her fall head over heels for................"  (I don't think it's necessary to write the rest. You know what he'll say)

"Hey America, have you got any tips for first dates?"

"What!! Wait, woah!!! You have a date?!?!  Who is she or he? What's his or her name? Where are they from?.........." Yeah he wasn't much help either.

  "Hey Ireland, have you got any tips for first dates?"  

"Top of the mornin' to ya Germy!! Dates?? Well y'know, if yer nervous, you should just have a drink before ya go cause then, sure, ya can't be blamed fer anytin. And ya won't remember anytin eider (either) so that's a plus-"

"How's that a plus?"

"Sure, how would I know?"

"But you just said-- never mind"

Yeah, nobody was any help at all cause they're all a bunch of blundering idiots. So Germany decided to turn to his last resort............ he asked the cat.

  "Hey Kent, have you got any tips for first dates?"  

"Don't call me that!!! And yes I do..................." 

The cat was a great help to Germany, cause in this world cats are smarter than people/countries. I would write their conversation but in case you haven't noticed, I have no tips for dates. And I never will.

.~*.~*.~* Skip to Germany back at the bench .~*.~*.~*

Vhere is she? She's late. He thought to himself. Just as he was about to give up and go drown his sorrows in beer with Ireland....... he heard a voice.

"Hey"

"Guttentag"

"What?"

"Nothing. So......was there traffic or...."

"Nah, I just wasn't bothered to get up this morning"

"OK?"

"By the way, I brought my two dumbass friends cause they wouldn't leave me alone. Meet Pato and Neko."

"Hello" Germany greeted. 

"Hi" Neko said politely.

"Sup bitch" Pato just said

"Don't call him a bitch!!" CasinoGame retorted

"Why not?"

"Cause I said so!!!"

"Fine"

(BTW I'm not gonna describe what these three look like cause if I did, it would haunt you for the rest of your life. So you can imagine them any way you want them to look like. If you honestly want to, you could make them look like an actual cat, duck & roulette table. Let your imagination be free!!!)