-2X
I'm laying in my bed, staring up at my ceiling or out my window at the darkness beyond these walls. It's close to the time when I would usually go to bed. I smile as I check Facebook on my iPod. I had just finished having a wonderful conversation with Jes, I always feel bad about them though. But I gotta do what I gotta do to keep my cover.
Am I a secret agent? An assassin? A really famous beautiful girl that dresses like a nerd to not attract attention? No, I am none of these things. But I don't think I'm ugly.
Anyway, I had just finished talking to her when I decided to do something. I felt bad. I always felt bad. I was gonna tell Dawn He was fake. Who is he? Well a few weeks before, my best friend Charlie had an idea to make the boy she likes jealous. How bad could it be? So I agreed, taking the idea three steps farther and... yeah. I only did it because I love Charlie like a sister, and this was something that sounded like fun, I was slightly bored at the time, and if you know what a troll is, I would consider myself one of those.
In the beginning, I had talked to Dawn as Him. (If you haven't figured it out by now yes we made a fake boyfriend for my best friend) But I hadn't talked to Dawn as Him in awhile, neither had she messaged Him. And I felt bad for tricking her, but if it wasn't so funny I would have told her sooner. So now I'm sitting in my bed, I messages her as myself, and was just waiting for the reply. My phone buzzes, and I smile picking it up. She says hey, and so I continue to say what I wanted to...
"I have to tell you something, you know Charlie's boyfriend...?" I start, I'm getting ready to write the next part when she replies...
"Stop lying to me, I know he's fake."
My heart stopped. She knew? How long has she known...? What?
"Ive known for awhile, and it hurts that you would keep lying to me."
Stop, stop no. I didn't do this to hurt you! I did it for my friend! I thought it would be fun, no! This isn't happening I can't loose you Dawn...!
My mind starts to flicker as the argument progresses. I am freaking out.
I didn't do this to hurt her! I can't believe this is happening no no no...
The next thing I remember is being asleep, but I'm pretty sure we worked it out. Its now Sunday morning...
Ugh I'm so tired. Should I wait to tell Charlie that Dawn found out or text her now? I better text her now...
I pick up my phone and open up my iMessage. I grin as I read over the last few things we said. I text her "Good morning beautiful" and am quickly met with a reply. I text her I have to tell her something, and she gets worried, I can feel it from here. I always can.
"Dawn found out last night that he, is fake."
I thought her reaction would be more calm... but she got really mad.
"No no! I didn't tell her, well, I was going to but, she already knew! she guessed! I felt really bad she kept saying I had lied to her and it hurt my heart..." I text, trying to calm her down. But it doesn't work, and I'm supposed to see her in half an hour. Now I'm shaking.
I'm loosing my best friend... I'm watching it happen... Why did Dawn have to find out! Why couldn't I have just ignored my guilty feeling... Why didn't I wait until I saw you. Why didn't I talk to you about it first...
The conversation ends, and I hold back my tears. I can't cry, they'll ask what's wrong. My sister comes in, saying its time to go, but I had already heard them talking downstairs, so I was slightly in control of my emotions. I grab my phone and run down the stairs, putting on a fake smile as my mom greets me. I grab my shoes and coat, even though I have no need for my coat. It was winter time but there was no snow. Which I really enjoyed, because then we could still go outside for walks and stuff. I climbed into the car slowly, and on the journey just looked out the window, still holding back the tears.
I will not cry I will not cry. Just don't think about it.
