A/N: It's taken me a long time to sit down and write this part... Once you read it you'll be like, why? But, ugh it's just hard for me to explain stuff, to help transport you to the mindset I was in. This whole book is to help people understand, and a place for me to write it all down so I can forget, so I can grieve and move on ya' know. I don't want this thing that happened to haunt me, but it does, and I'm trying to let it go as much as I can so it doesn't anymore. It's hard to sleep at night, walking feels weird, going back to the places I was hurts. Being outside is scary, because my adrenaline starts going again and that lil' word keeps repeating in my head.
Go, go, go.
Before I ramble this chapter away I better start, so here goes... This is the part I've had the toughest time writing,
Enjoy.
A car started coming for me, so I rolled into the ditch, and crawled over to a young tree. There were brambles in the ditch, they were a dark reddish colour. I don't actually know what they're called, so I'm just calling them brambles. They happened to be close to my favourite colour. The car passed, and I ducked down, covering my eyes from the bright lights of the beast. Two more cars came, each time I shied away from that awful light. I listened intently, to the sounds of the night. A forest was to my back, and an empty field was just across the road. Seeing that no more cars were coming, I tried to get up, but couldn't. I willed my arms to move, but the stayed at my side. I leaned forward, trying to use the momentum to get back up, but failed, and instead fell over. I grunted as I landed on my right side. It didn't hurt, I just thought I could get up. I stayed on my side, curled up around the tree.
"Maybe I should give up..." I thought. "I can't even move."
I stayed on the ground, looking out at the field across the road. Two lights it seamed, were dancing in the forest just past it. One was white, and brighter, the other was blue and smaller. I bolted into an upright position, my mind played tricks on me that they were coming closer, or were they actually coming closer? I sat paralyzed with fear, mesmerized by those two lights. A car drove by, snapping me out of my hypnotized state. I cringed as the cars bright light filled my eyes, then blinked it away. It was here, and then it was gone again in a flash. It was silent again, and I looked out towards those lights, this time they were unmoving, and it looked like they never moved closer at all. Exhaustion started to take over, now that I hadn't been moving for awhile. My muscles ached, the pain in my leg started to unnumb (if that's a word), I became aware of how cold I was and my eyes became heavy with sleep, I laid back down curling around the tree and pulling my hoodie closer to my body. I knew that I wasn't suppose to do that, I was supposed to make air pockets or something but I was to tired to care. I had no memory of why I was out here. Just the fact that I had to be, and that I had to keep going no matter what. But here I was at my limit, shaking violently because of the cold, and not being able to get up because of my exhaustion. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, looking at the lock screen I had. It was a picture I had taken before it had gotten dark, it was the edge of a forest and a field. I wanted to go back there some day, it's really beautiful. I had changed it to my lock screen because of how much it meant to me, how much this all meant to me. I didn't want to die in this ditch.
"Wait a minute..." I thought to myself, remembering that I could call 911 on my phone without wifi.
Now this whole time you might have been thinking "YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL SOMEONE TO PICK YOU UP!" yes, I have a phone, but it doesn't have data I use it like an iPod. I had tried connecting to wifi so I could call Jane awhile ago but they were all locked, I tried guessing for awhile but no luck.
I opened up the calling thing, and pressed the emergency 911 button after hesitating for a few minutes. I put the phone up to my ear and listened to the tone. A mans voice came in on the speaker, and I put the phone down accidentally hanging up.
"Crap. Well they can just track me can't they..." I thought to myself sleepily, closing my eyes. "I'll just rest for a few minutes..." I soon fell asleep, barely stirring as the numerous cars went by, but I'm pretty sure I cringed in my sleep when those lights hit me. a noise behind me snapped my out of my sleep, sounding shivers up my spine. The trees behind me were moving in the wind, making it seam like something was coming closer. I heard a twig snap and I looked behind me. Nothing, but I still scanned through the trees and listening intently for a few minutes. No cars had come by in awhile, and I looked at my phone. The batterie percentage was at 32, which meant my phone would die soon and I wouldn't be able to call for help at all. Help? Hey, I called... An hour ago! I looked at my clock, it was past eleven now. I stiffly moved my fingers, which I could barely do because they were so cold, across the screen of my phone, again pressing the emergency calling button. A female voice rang through my speaker. She didn't have an American accent, but she had some kind of a strong accent.
"911 what is your emergency?" She asked. I realized I had to speak now, and tried to open my mouth but couldn't. They shock had started to set in I guess.
"Hello? 911 what is your emergency?" She said, a little more urgently. Again I tried to speak but couldn't, I just had to listen to her voice asking me what my emergency was, oh if only she knew.
"Dispatch we have an unresponsive caller with heavy breathing on the line. Transferring to..." I couldn't quiet make out the rest, if I had though its not like I would remember. A new voice came on the line. It was a man, his voice sounded young.
"Hello...?" He asked. "Can you hear me?" I tried speaking again, this time I could open my mouth but nothing came out. I laid in the ditch listening to this guy try to make contact with me. He would say something every few minutes, and I felt so weird. I tried to speak again, no sound again, I was getting frustrated. The time was slowly dragging on, and I started going in and out of consciousness.
"If you can hear me press a button on your phone." He says.
I eagerly pull my phone away to push a button, I choose the number eight, and it becomes my favourite number. That burst of energy is gone, and I slowly pull the phone back up to me ears. A car goes by, and it's light blinds for for a second, I hate it!
I guess I didn't do it right, or maybe he said something and I didn't hear, but he kept asking are you there. I closed my eyes as the next car came. I was cold, my foot was wet, and I was hungry, didn't have lunch or dinner. I was so done, I just wanted to go home. I pulled the phone away from my ear then choked out some random noises, my throat was very scratchy. Finally, I put the phone back up to my ear and spoke my first words since I lost George, which was about four hours ago.
"I'm cold." I said, my voice very shaky.
He asks my name, and I tell him. Then he continues to tell me how worried everyone is.
"Tom is really upset." He says, and it really stood out to me. The reality of what I did started to sink in, my emotions started to come back, and I started to get out of shock.
"Charlie is really worried too."
I cringe. I knew exactly how she would react, because I've known her so long. She would try to be strong, in front of people. Then once she was alone she would break down, blaming herself for my running.
