can i tell you a secret? ; halsanie (third book in the pinky promise series)

ashley's letter

january 21st, 11:34pm

if i smile and don't believe, soon i think i'll wake up from this dream.

i can't separate reality and fantasy anymore.

is melanie alive? is she dead? did she even exist to begin with?

i can't tell anymore.

did i kill them? are they alive? did any of them exist at all?

all of these questions with no answers. i need help. i'm losing my mind. i killed them. i killed all of them.

all the blood and the memories.

i can't keep living like this.

every stab, every gunshot, every extra pill.

i'm scared to see myself.

i can't keep going on like this. i have no lover, no friends. all i have is you.

and you're so worthless to me. you just remind me of who i killed inside my dreams and in reality.

i held melanie's hand through all of those years, but she still has all of me. her face haunts my once pleasant dreams. her voice chased away all the sanity i had left.

i want all of these memories to go away. i want to turn back time and fix this disaster.

and though you're still with me, i've been all alone.

so alone.

this loneliness is eating me up inside, and i can't change it.

and now i know that the seven letters in ashley f. match those in unknown.

~unknown

(a/n: well now we know who unknown is but don't worry this is gonna get worse,,,, there's a reason elle king is on the cover,,,,)