Forever

F I F T E E N

Cameron's POV

Leaving Amanda is so much more fucking harder than I've ever thought, I supposed I can endure the pain, but as the fucking distance grows, a part of me fucking dissolves. Being without her is like being trapped in a fucking deep black hole, fucking hopeless and helpless. It's fucking torturous.

My plan was just to fucking made her fall for me and as I was in the middle of doing my plans, I've learned that I was making myself too. I didn't want to, I fucking never want to, but I fucking did and a way to bring my life back is fucking nowhere in my sight because she's my life.

My thoughts became jumbled as I got irrational, surely because of the alcohol that was flowing through my fucking veins.

I prop up my elbows against the uncomforting mattress and I could barely set my vision straight.

How could I've fucking done this? How did it fucking happened so fast? Yes, I was fucking besotted by the liquors in me, but deep down, I felt that I shouldn't have fucking done it. I knew that leaving her will fill me with damn regrets, but I already did, my fucking dumbself already did.

She's a beautiful girl with a soothing smile and tantalizing brown eyes that doesn't deserve to be filled with despondent tears in any fucking moment. I never thought that I would fall for her and she gave me the love and attention I never fucking deserved. My life was perfectly fine, until I made her my ravishing and worthful mistake. She's my entire world, and without her, I'm basically nothing, but a worthless bastard who doesn't give any flying fucks about himself.

I could't lose anything after going my entire life without something to treasure, but my family. My annoyance increased as I became more fucking desperate for Amanda and in that moment, I realized that without something worth my living, I would do anything, arbitrarily anything to keep her forever. She's the most important and the best part of me.

"Done!" The blonde girl with swollen lips looks up and winks from between my legs. They're all a distraction, except for her.

With that, I pull my pants back up and leave the cash on the mattress for the payment of the girl I used as my distraction by having her to give me a physical pleasure that was nothing against the amount of it Amanda can give me. An Image of Amy that she's about to hit her full and soft lips against mine starts flashing in my mind, and I couldn't fucking get more blue. This is fucking my breaking point, I'm tearing myself apart and killing myself just by leaving my whole life behind.

I clearoff of the room leaving the unknown girl and the cash she deserves. I sit down om one of the stools of the bar and order a countless shots of vodka for I realize that the amount of alcohol roaming in me wasn't good enough yet to forget everything I should've forgotten earlier.

"Cameron, babe?" I look behind me, only to found out that it is someone I've been craving for, the girl who made me go hell bizzare.

I never had the fucking chance to fought for her against her obnoxious mother, and it was a very wrong and selfish of myself. I should had fought for her, for us! I was too fucking terrified to not be able to accept by her parents, when I wasn't supposed to.

She wraps her warm and comforting arms around my cold self, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She says, countless time, which is something that shouldn't escape her mouth.