Love That Goes Unnoticed

call tring tring

" hello Zia , can we meet its important regarding business " , he just said this and hanged the call , I was shocked , he didn't even wait for my answer , but I am not surprised he is the same .

I was teaching Yawaar , when my cell buzzed , it was Rakeeb's message .

Coffee cafe near my house @ 5

He Haven't changed ,yet the same .

" Mommy , I can't understand this , solve mumma ", I came back to my senses .
" yes my darling , come I will show you how to do ".
I helped him , but again my thought dragged back to the message , I pushed back the thought and went to the kitchen to prepare some food for Yawaar and myself .

I was preparing vegetables rice for Yawaar , its his favourite .

Flashback

" I love you ,Zia "
Rakeeb pulled my lower lip with his teeth and started nibbling , then he suckled it , and dipped his tongue inside .

"Mommy I am hungry " Yawaar started shouting , hearing this I came to my senses .

Holy shit! What am I thinking , I can't do this .

What happened five years ago , it was past I never let it effect my present , why today then , I was questioning myself because I myself was shocked , I had never let it rule my emotion , it was buried deep inside me .

Maybe it was boiling inside me , seeing him after five long years it came out as visions , but this thoughts will never weaken me .

I have to be strong for Yawaar , and I can't do this to Rayees who was their for me whenever I needed someone , sometime like a friend , sometime guardian , sometime like a guide , sometime a follower just followed me where ever I went , and then as a partner stood by my side strong as a tree protecting me from Strom of thoughts , past , Rakeeb and mostly protected me from myself .

" mommy , I love you " Yawaar said kissing me , his kiss brought me back from my thoughts , I kissed him goodnight and slept beside him , he is my life , hope of living , my everything .

I never knew his call will bring such turmoil in me , its like cyclones of thoughts mixing with others and bringing the past as if it just happened yesterday .

Now, I need to sleep , work work work, my new responsibility is waiting for me , I have to stand up for the faith Rayees had on me , I have to be strong for Yawaar , I can't be a weak mommy , even if it means I have to fight my own devil , thoughts of my past .

I have to be strong because I have no other option .

I am not scared of Rakeeb , but its me I am scared of , my emotions which is buried , have to stay buried , Rakeeb shouldn't effect me .

I can't hate him not because I can't but because ...........
Hate is the first cousin of love

I can't love again , my dignity , my ego , my self-respect is important more then that Yawaar is important , and mostly I can't give Rakeeb the pleasure of winning , he have to lose .

I will play my dice
Ignorance
Indifferent
Distance
Ruthless
Ego
Heartless

Six sides of my dice .

I am eagerly looking forward for the meeting in the same cafe after five years , but with a different Zia not that girl who was crazy about him .