What is Meant to be, Will Be

Chapter 17

Derek wasn't back until after lunch and by then I only had four of the six surgical tapes watched that Bailey had given me the day before. They had to be done by dinner or I was screwed. I knew being a surgeon was going to be difficult but this was just insane.

The next few weeks were the same as usual, was told to stay in bed and watch surgical tapes all day. I  was now nearing the middle of my second trimester, could barely see my toes, and knew I was having a boy and a girl. Although, Derek and I kept going back and forth on names. 

"Why can't our son's name be Derek Duane? Derek after me and Duane after my dad?" 

"I guess, but that still leave our daughter. What are we going to name her?" 

"I really do like the name Jena, Meredith. I love it. Why are you having second thoughts?"

"Derek, they will be named this forever! What if she hates her name?"

"She will love it because you chose it just for her."

He was always really good at making me smile, no matter what my mood was. Not even married for a year and he knew most of my in's and out's. Tonight was going to be special though. Mom was coming to dinner with us, well in my room. Derek ordered chinese food from a place that delivers, thankfully chinese is one of the few foods that doesn't make me sick.

"There is the wonderful mother-to-be!"

Mom was way to excited about being a grandma. She constantly sent interns to check on me, and most of the time I would tell them to go away and they would tell her I was fine. Addison Shepard was doing ultrasounds daily, one to teach me, and two to make sure everything was going smoothly. I told her she didn't have to but she said anything for the Ellis Grey. Sometimes having her as a mom bit me in the ass. 

"Hi Mom. Derek, shouldn't you go check and see if dinner has arrived?" 

"You are right. He should be here. See you in a few."

He kissed my forehead and was out the door, leaving Mom and I to talk. 

"Still not sure on baby names?"

"Well, your grandson will be Derek Duane, but I don't know about the girl. I don't know any good names, I mean I love Jena Lynn but I don't want her to hate it."

"She won't hate it. I promise. I thought you would hate Meredith but you seem to have adjusted fairly well."

She had a smile on her face. Yes, at one point I hated my name, but grew into it. I don't want to have my daughter hate her name. 

Mom started gasping for air.

"Mom, mom talk to me. NURSE!"

While I was trying to get out of bed she had fallen out of her wheelchair and by the time I was halfway ready to stand there were three different nurses. They brought in a gurney and rolled her out into a different room. I tried following but a nurse tried to tell me to get back in bed.

"Thats my mom! She can't die! They said she'd be okay!"

Now I was in pain, my stomach, or more likely uterus, was cramping like none other. I was doubled over in pain when Derek came in. 

"Get back in bed! SOMEONE PAGE ADDISON MONTGOMERY!"

"Derek-Derek, Mom"

I managed to get out. But he didn't seem to hear me. He had me lifted into my bed and was holding my hand telling me everything was going to be okay. Nothing was going to be okay if I didn't find out what was happening to my mom. She couldn't die, they promised me. 

Addison came rushing in demanding to know my stats and what the hell had happened. I wasn't able to pay much attention to what was being said due to the amount of pain I was in. Tears were rolling down my face but not because of pain, but because I was worried about Mom. She can't die. It's only a matter of time before I have these kids. She has to make it a few more months.

"Give her 100% oxygen, we need to get her to calm down. Meredith, look at me, everything will be okay. Dr. Burke is with her right now."

Addison was trying to calm me down, and it wasn't working. I kept saying,

"Mom. Where's mom?"

"Meredith, everything will be okay, you just need to relax."

Addison was doing her job, but she actually cared to, I could hear it in her voice. I needed to calm down, I know I did, but what if something big happened. I took a few deep breaths and the pain started to subside and my heart rate slowed.

After a few minutes Cristina came in, a worried look on her face. That wasn't ever a good sign. 

"Your mom had a heart attack and Dr. Burke needs to go in for surgical repairs that seem to have been caused by the Alzheimer's research drug. We need your constent."

"Do everything you can to save her life."

She gave me an apologetic smile and ran out the door. If any intern could handle this it was Cristina. I thought she was getting better and she wasn't. I don't understand. How could this be happening to me? 

As the hours passed I got more worried. I fell asleep at about 3 AM without hearing anything back about my mom, and I didn't have an easy nights sleep thats for sure. 

About noon I saw Dr. Burke heading into my room and I braced myself for any bad news he could give me. 

"Meredith, your mother had some pretty extensive damange to her lungs and heart due to the combination of her Alzheimer's medication and the cancer medication. Now, she is still on the vent, and I don't know when she will come off or if she ever will. I will have Dr. Yang run all the tests about every four hours just to make sure we aren't missing anything."

"Dr. Burke, you don't have to call her Dr. Yang to me. She is Cristina, and don't push her into anything she isn't ready for."

He gave me the, oh, look and smiled.

"Well, I will have her update you as soon as we find anything out."

He walked out of my little room, leaving me and Derek alone. I didn't know if I wanted to cry, or just to sit there and think about all the different possiblities. I guess I was doing both because Derek crawled into bed with me and let me lay my head on his chest. This was going to be a rough few days, and I didn't know if I could handle it all.