Fifth Harmony/You - Should've Been Us

Chapter 45

I've lost count of how many days have passed. A week? A month? A year? It's better to not think about it and how much important stuff that I'm missing. It didn't take me long to grow accustom to the chill in the night air and to hear the explosions in the distance. As much as I wanted to be afraid, I just couldn't be because that was a sign of weakness. I knew I was being watched, but I pretended like I didn't feel her eyes on me.

"You can't sleep either?" her voice asked somewhere within the darkness.

"Shut up Alessia," I said in annoyance.

Of course Alessia ignored me and kept talking. "I have nightmares too, so it makes it hard for me to fall asleep" Alessia said.

"Do you ever shut the fuck up?" I asked.

"No, my nickname was motor mouth" Alessia said.

"You're annoying," I said.

"I've been told that too," Alessia said.

"It's not a fucking compliment," I said.

"I think deep down Y/N, you're a really sweet person. It's just that you choose to push people away rather than give them a chance to get to know you" Alessia said.

"I'm a toxic person," I said.

"I don't see you that way," Alessia said.

I sighed. "Just go to sleep and stop talking," I said flipping over in my cot to turn away from the direction that I could hear her voice.

Alessia Cara was a runaway well she ran away from her foster parents to join the military and she was nineteen, so they didn't come looking for her. When I first met her, she looked like she hadn't eaten in days and she was covered in bruises. I didn't ask her about it, but instead decided to be nice to her. Which I now fucking regret because she won't leave me alone. I get updates from Selena and she sends me photos and tells me how everyone is. One thing she was right about was the two girls and two boys. So, I was pretty sure that nine months did past because Ally had a little boy named Julian, Dinah had a little girl named Kira, Tori had a little girl named Juliet, and then I had a son named Louie but Selena only sent me a photo of him not who was the mother. I didn't dwell on it farther as my eyes got heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

****

I woke up early to work out by myself, but of course Alessia woke up early too. I was lifting weights when Alessia walked over and stood in front of me.

"You're lonely," Alessia said.

I rolled my eyes and continued to lift weights until she tugged on my arm causing me to drop the weight just missing her foot.

"Are you fucking crazy," I shouted at Alessia.

"I know you're a lesbian," Alessia said.

"There's a fucking a spectrum," I said.

"Bullshit," Alessia said.

"I don't define myself as anything and do what the fuck I want," I said pushing her out of my way.

"Me too," Alessia said following behind me.

"You're nineteen you don't know what the fuck you want," I said putting my shirt back on to cover my sweaty sports bra along with my body.

"I want you," Alessia said.

"No," I said.

"Why not?" Alessia asked.

"You're a kid," I said.

"I'm legally an adult," Alessia said.

"I have five kids, I take care of my siblings along with my nephew because my sister is in rehab, I have six crazy exes will not technically exes it's complicated, and the seventh girl I was involved with won't even give me the time of day. I'm a fucked up person with a lot of baggage, so you don't want me. You just discovered that I have an attraction to females like you, so you think that you want me. Get over your fucking self," I said.