Raindrops on Spiderwebs

Following the Black Parade

I know the title is closely related a song by My Chemical Romance. I just really liked it but changed the first word.

Following the Black Parade

Do you remember

when you held me in your arms?

I may not,

but I know you did.

I miss us playing checkers

and Scrabble

and watching the VHS tapes you made for me.

I still watch them, you know.

Arthur, Clifford, The Magic School Bus, and all those movies you recorded.

You always buttered my toast for me in the mornings.

You remembered not to put on jelly.

I know you wished you could walk,

play with us outside.

But I didn't care.

I may not have understood why, but I knew we couldn't change it.

I got older, and so did you.

I never saw you stand upright,

let alone get out of bed.

The nurse said your lungs were failing.

Three weeks left.

A year later, you were still there.

The nurse said your kidneys were going.

Two weeks left.

You turned eighty one

and we didn't know how long you'd have left.

They gave you oxygen.

Each day we saw you.

My mom moved in with you and Oma.

You couldn't move your head anymore.

You barely opened your mouth.

You were so pale

your skin was transparent.

November 18th you took your last breath.

I kneeled by your bed and cried.

You never wanted us to worry about you so much

or cry over you.

I'm not strong enough.

The look on Oma's face

when she watched them carry you away.

I never saw you again.

At the funeral the day after Thanksgiving,

you were at the front of the church.

Your box of ashes was on the table

surrounded by flowers

and your pictures.

I carried your ashes out to the car.

Were you really gone?

Just like that?

Almost two years later,

I still miss you.

I still cry over you.

I still want to see your face again.

I will always remember

how you played Legos with me

how much your words influenced me.

I will never forget how much you went through

back in Yugoslavia during World War II.

Some of the memories may fade away,

but I will never forget you.

Someday, I'll see you again

when it's my turn to follow the black parade.

_____________________

I love you, Opa. Thanks for helping me become the person I am today :)