Holes

C12: Brooding

Chapter12-Brooding

Michael's POV.

I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened since she'd been away. All the feelings I hid, all the hurt I felt. I wanted her to know just how much I loved her.

But I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same. I was a vampire, a monster. How could she love me? How could she trust me? The last thing I wanted was for her to be scared of me.

I walked to the top of the steps and sat down, staring out the window above the front door. The streetlight shown inside the house, lighting up the bottom of the stairs in a yellow glow.

"You're giving vampires a bad rep by brooding like this."

I looked up and Jack, the guy who'd helped Mya get away from Alvarez, walked over to me. He sat down beside me and stretched his legs out in front of him.

"What's up with you anyway?"

"What do you mean 'what's up with me?'"

"You're depressed. I've never seen a more depressed man before in my life."

"That makes me feel better."

He sighed. "I'm just being honest. What's gotten into you anyway?"

"Nothing's 'gotten into me.' Am I not allowed to be depressed?"

"If you're upset, you have a reason. What's yours?"

I controlled the growl that was starting to rise in my chest. I didn't want to get mad at him since I didn't know him very well. I especially didn't want to fight with him if he was close to Mya like I expected.

"This is about a girl, isn't it?" I didn't like the look on his face. I really didn't want him to know it was Mya.

"So what if it is?"

"Any normal problem would just be that, a problem. Yours is... Yours is more than that if you're brooding."

"Brooding? You say I'm brooding and depressed but I have every right to be. Have you ever been upset over a girl?"

"Of course I have. But I just find another girl and move on."

"I can't move on." There was no way I could move on from Mya. I couldn't find anyone else. Vampires were heartless and most other humans were dead or already claimed. She was all I had.

"Sure you can. If Eddie can find that annoying girl, we can find you someone."

"No."

He held his hands up in surrender. "Bro, I'm just trying to help."

I rolled my eyes and got to my feet. "I don't have time for this. And don't call me 'bro.'"

His eyes widened as he pieced everything together and I mentally slapped myself. "It's her, isn't it?"

"I swear, if you say anything-"

"Chill out. I won't say anything." His expression went from humorous to confused. "Why haven't you said anything to her?"

"I don't know how she feels. And right now, I wouldn't be surprised if she were afraid of me."

"All humans are afraid of vampires whether they want to admit it or not."

I shook my head. "I don't want her to be afraid of me."

"Then turn her. She'll be off bounds to any vampire, include Alvarez."

"I'm not turning her against her will."

Jack sighed and got to his feet. "Either turn her or re-claim her. He can track that tattoo right back here and it'll be on a goose chase to get her this time."

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Mya was asleep when I went back to check on her. Her back was to me, her breathing slow and soft. She was curled up into herself, the blanket pulled up to her chin. She looked so much younger than she actually was, so much more innocent.

There was no way I could bite her. I knew she wouldn't want that, her thoughts said as much. I couldn't take away her human life, her humanity. She'd hate me so much more than she already did.

I sat down on the floor beside the closed door and watched her sleep for a long time. She hardly ever moved or made a noise, which made me wonder if she was dreaming at all.

She rolled over so she was now facing me and I saw that she was awake. She reached her hand out for me and I could hear her ask me to go to her in her thoughts.

I walked over to her, not sure what she would do or what she wanted me to do. If I had a heart, it would have been beating like crazy.

She moved over to make room for me, her eyes on me the whole time.

I laid down beside her, on my side, with my hand propping my head up. Thinking about it, I realized I'd never loved anyone besides her. Even as a human, I'd never found anyone interesting enough to be with. But Mya was different. Maybe the thought of losing her was what made me realize my feelings for her. I just knew that I didn't want to lose her again.

She moved closer to me and rested her head against my chest. Her body relaxed once more and she was asleep again.

I wrapped my arm around her and covered her up with the blanket. Not long after she fell asleep, dark thoughts began to cloud her dreams and she was sucked into a nightmare.

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