Remember me?

Chapter 21

We had gone to dinner at this frenchplace aly and I knew. Nothing much has changed with Eddie aside fromthe fact everything had changed. He had a wife with a baby on the wayand things felt so different. I wanted what he had, and I knew Iloved alistair but that wasn't it. I watched him and hannah anddidn't realize I hadn't said anything in a long time.

"Amanda?"

"Huh?"

"Oh I said have you heard from anyonein the cast?" Eddie asked. I shook my head.

"No, it's sad actually. I miss themall so much." I paused thinking of how sad I was.

just then hannah said she had to usethe restroom and aly went to go pull the car around. I looked atEddie. He stared at me. Not like he used to. Like he was studying me.

"Edward?"

"What?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, ok no. amanda can I ask you aquestion, are you happy?"

"What do you mean?! Of course!"

"Cause you don't seem like your usualself."

oh really, hmm maybe because I amdeeply in love with you and this is killing me, I thought to myself.I just shrugged. "I don't know Eddie. But yeah im good! Just sameold Amanda. Honestly though Eddie, I am so proud of you." just thenhe did the complete unexpected, and grabbed my hand from where itrest on my wine glass and gave it a squeeze.

"We've come a long way Cosette." hesaid with a wink. Our hands stayed interlocked for a moment more andwe were just staring at each other. He started to smile a little bitand laughed. Just then hannah came back and he dropped my fingers. Ididn't move my hand but left it in the shape where eddie's hand wouldstill fit.

"Ready darling? It's getting late."he nodded.

"Of course my love." I followedthem out to meet aly.

"Well it was so good to see you guysand to run into you." I nodded awkwardly.

"Yeah, whenever you're in town!"aly said trying to make it less awkward for us. Hannah hugged me, andI wished her congratulations on their child again. I felt weirdhugging Eddie. When I hug Eddie there has always been a lot ofmeaning behind it or a story. It's never a hug like oh we may not seeeach other again, and you have moved on. I did it anyway, and didn'texpect him to hug me so tightly. Classic. I pulled away and got inthe car before turning one last time to see the couple standing onthe street corner in the darkness. On the way home aly put his handon my thigh and we didn't say much.

We got ready for bed, but as I laythere reading I noticed him pacing about the bedroom.

"Come to bed honey."

"Ok I know I may be stupid but do youstill like Eddie? I mean you act like you really want him and I don'tknow if it's because I am not enough for you or whatever but I amsick of this bull crap."

"Oh god aly no! You mean so much tome."

"Then why do you only care aboutEddie?"

"That's not true! I don't at all!"

"Good cause I know Eddie has a newlife know and he's trying to move on. Your guys thing was in thepast."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Eddie doesn't care aboutyou anymore Amanda. You have to let him go. He is married with achild and if you were to tare that family apart how do you think youwould feel?"

"Oh my god Alistair, you have noright to say that to me. You don't know one spectrum of ourrelationship and you have absolutely no place in it."

"I do cause I am your boyfriend andyou love me."

"I'm not so sure I do now."

"What do you mean! Of course you do.God stop being such a whore, just like let Eddie go."

"Get out. Get out of my apartment."

"What the hell? No god, lets just goto bed."

"No I don't want you here anymore.Just leave."

       

his eyes became very angry but hestormed out of the room, and I heard the front door slam shut. Ipulled my knees into my chest and sobbed. There was no one I knew Icould call to come over.