Wall of secrets

Chapter 13

I went back home happy for once.
I'm usually nervous or mad when I walk through the front door because all I hear is yelling.
Sometimes it's silent, which is just as bad.

Mum worked a little more than she usually does today. So I went upstairs to check if Cassidy might be home.

She was home.
Her bag was on the couch, I knew better than to look through it.
I made my way upstairs.
I heard her on the phone.

"I know you are alive."

My eyes widened as I heard her say that sentence.

I knocked on her door loudly.

She opened the door, and she frowned as she saw me.

"Who's alive?! You need to start talking or else I'm going to find out!" I yell.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have started out the conversation that way. But I was curious.

"It's nothing, just a joke my friends and I are doing," she said.
I could see right through that lie.

Her eyes say it all.

"Cassidy! For God Sakes why are you always so secretive?! You aren't a FBI agent! So stop keeping things, I know you have issues okay?! But if there's something I need to know, you need to tell me! I'm so tired of your crap! You don't get what mum and I go through! You are just selfish!" I let out with no regrets.

She didn't say anything.
She didn't cry.
She didn't yell at me.
She didn't push me away.
She just,
Didn't do anything.

She was looking down at the ground.
"Cassidy, you are driving me crazy, just say something," I say lowering my voice.

She turned away and shut the door.

"ARGH!" I shout as I kick her door.
She's acting like Elsa when she shut her sister out, she needs to understand the fact that this is reality not some movie!

"I HATE YOU!" I yelled as I was halfway down the stairs.

I didn't mean that.
But I needed to say it, I needed to just let things out for her to realize she is hurting others.

I left the house and went the the park.

I grabbed my guitar, I haven't played it in ages.

I thought I just need some fresh air, and some calming music.

I sat down and leaned against the tree I always go to.
It was like my childhood tree, I'd always lean against it, play, eat and do so many fun things with Cassidy... And my dad.

My dad left us, he turned to be an alcoholic, he kept cheating on mum, he even brought his hookups home. But mum couldn't divorce him no matter the circumstances. She had no money, he paid for everything.
He left us.
Then he died...
We never knew the real reason he died.
Cassidy, him and I were so close.
It was heartbreaking.
But I got over it, he's the one who left us in the first place.

She become somebody else, and we no longer connected.

"Hey stranger," I heard a familiar voice say as it interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up from my guitar and saw Carter standing there.

My heart did that flutter.

His hair was messy, he looked like he hasn't slept for days.
I haven't really been seeing him, I felt like I just saw him like I haven't seen him for 2 years.
Maybe I'm exaggerating.

But it sure felt like 2 years.
He sat down next to me.
"Uh, hey," the only words that I could say.

"Listen, sorry about the phone call the other day, I had some stuff to deal with and it got to my head," he explained.

Is it bad that I wanted to hug him?
Is it bad that I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me?
Is it bad that I might be falling for him?

No.
I'm not falling for him.
I'm not.

"It's alright," I simply said with a half smile.

"So um, you play guitar?" He asked.

"Haven't in a while, I just felt like I wanted to play it again, it calms me down," I said.

I started playing a soft tune, just so it's not that awkward between us.

"Do you have a thing for this tree or something? I always see you here," he said but then widened his eyes as he said 'I always see you here'.

"Um, what do you mean always?" I said letting out a small chuckle.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud, um, well I just, uh, well I always go to this park, before you came to our school I would always see you sitting here writing in your notebook, I wasn't stalking you or anything I would just always see you and yeah..." He said, I could see that he was embarrassed.

"That's a such a coincidence!" I said smiling.

"What is?"

"It just so happened that I ended up going to my stalkers school," I said teasing him.

"Shush, I wasn't stalking," he said laughing.

"So yeah, what is with you and this tree?" He said repeating his question.

I didn't want to bore him with my life story, so I just said, "I used to sit by this tree when I was little with my sister and dad."

"Ah okay, so you have a sister?" He asked.

I really didn't want to get into detail about every detail so I just nodded.

My heart was beating really fast.

Everytime I mention my dad or sister, I get nervous. There's a empty feeling inside of me, I felt like my head was going to explode, I get that feeling in my throat when I'm about to break down.
I avoid talking about them.

But people keep asking.
What happened to Cassidy?
Why haven't we seen Cassidy for so long?
How's the family going?

These questions are making me want to break down and just scream.
I can't answer these questions.
I can't give anyone answers.

Because I'm full of questions myself.

A/N:
GETTING TO THE GOOD PARTS AHH!
Carter is finally back!!!
And I have interesting chapters coming soon! :)))
Vote & comment.
xx
- S