Old and Unwanted

I hate to be called ate.

If you don’t know me just call me miss or ma’am.

If you know me and you don’t know my age just call me by name.

Was it part of the Filipino culture to call some woman, ate and a girl, nene?.... Yeah… I think It is… But that was part of respect and not by mere insulting someone.

I’m a bit hurt when I’m reminded that I’m old. Especially by the people who look older than me it’s like mocking me.

Anyway, I know I am old. I just turned 26. The reminder that I am not anymore in my early twenties is scary it feels like my clock is ticking rapidly and sooner I’ll be 30.  I am starting to see fine lines under my eyes. Dati, I don’t know what moisturizer does to your face and lotions to your skin. I even said that I won’t be using that since hindi naman ako maarte. Pero kapag dumating ka pala sa ganitong edad. My God, you’ll do anything not to look that old.

So sa lahat ng tao please lang tantanan na niyo na ang pagtawag sakin Ate! Kase alam ko na I look old na but I’m doing things na to the best I can to prevent looking like it. Huhuhu!

And to my Mom please stop reminding me to look for a partner. I know I am old but when you keep on saying that I become desperate. Feeling ko I am this unwanted. I never had a boyfriend…ayokong dagdagan ng ‘I never will’, cause I don’t want that to happen. Wala akong trauma factor na iniwan ng minahal  niya o dahil broken family kami. That’s a big ‘No!!’ Hindi rin sa dahil ayaw ko. Hindi rin sa dahil mapili ako. Hindi ko alam talaga. Minsan naiisip ko dahil ba  sa itsura ko? I’m not ugly naman, I am just plain looking I guess? Pero naman andami dame naman diyan talagang kala mo walang pag-asa pero nagka-asawa pa. Sorry namintas pa.. Haha. Pero bakit ako? Bakit ako God?

Pinanganak na ba ako para maging old maid? Huwaaahhh!!

I wanted this story to be a love story and not to become a story of Oldmaid-hood! So I’m asking the author to give me justice!!  Haha.

Please? I don’t want to be “Old And Unwanted”…    ---___----,