That moment when no-homo no longer applies

John, You Little Shit.

John awoke rather suddenly, face down on the couch, glasses on the floor, and no Strider's in sight. He sat up with a groggy groan as he looked over to the window. It wasn't this dark when he went to sleep...damn. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, picking up his glasses and sliding them onto the bridge of his nose. With one over exaggerated sigh, John stood up and glanced to the time on the microwave. It was 9? Pm? Where the hell was Dave? Grocery shopping didn't take THAT long.
He wandered around for a bit, checking bathrooms, kitchens, and of course Dave's bedroom. He was just about to give up when he heard a pained groan and the clash of steel that was so easily recognizable. The roof.
   John fixed up his bed head (but to no avail, that was just his default) and left the apartment. One thing he would never be able to get over was the permanently broken elevator in these god forsaken apartments. He thought very deeply about this as he trudged up the million steps to get to the roof, opening the door and stepping out onto the hard concrete.
   There before him were the two missing hard-asses he'd been looking for. Dave was pinned against the wall with Bro's sword holding him back. The blunt edge of the sword was pressed against his neck, and the two were awfully close. John raised both eyebrows, and stood quietly to spectate. He pretended to be a professional judge, commenting to himself about Dave's fidgety form and Bros tight pants and the way they fit him so well but oh no that's not how judges work. Maybe ass judges. John makes a mental note to look into professional Ass Judgery. Might pay well.
   He really almost feels bad for Dave, because he's really getting his ass handed to him over there and maybe he should interfere but, oh this is entertaining. After a lot more of Dave scrambling around with half-assed swings, and Bro's seemingly perfected stances, John finally gave in and knocked on the side of the metal AC unit, which in turn emitted a loud bang and a couple unpleasant noises of whirring and probably the AC crying out for the sweet release of death. I mean, any Air Conditioner would be in this Texas heat. 
   Both Bro and Dave froze in their tracks, Bro's sword held sideways towards Dave, and Dave's being held in the defensive position. They both turned their heads to the sobbing AC Unit, and evidently John, who was standing there with the guiltiest look on his face. The AC let out a few more bangs, a loud screechy noise, and a sudden whisper of release. John could swear for a split second that it was thanking him. Your welcome, he thought. Rest in Peace. 
   Both Dave and Bro's faces went from mild surprise, to relief, to "I cannot believe you just broke the AC in the middle of July, you little shit" all in 30 seconds. John was in for some real shit, he could tell. If not from the Striders, than probably from the rest of the pissy residents that are sure to come.

A/N Alright!! So I finally finished this chapter, it took me forever but like, hey better late than never amirite? Anyway, so I can confirm that I am discontinuing the Dave X Reader, if any of you guys read it. Just FYI. Sorry about that, btw, but I can barely even keep up with one fanfic, how could I do 2? Who knows? So there should be another update for this relatively soon, and I plan on starting it as soon as I stop wasting time with this A/N thing. Anywho, thanks SO much for waiting and being patient with me, and even reading my shitpost fanfictions in the first place.