Panic! They're adopting you

Chapter 12

Jack's Pov

I hope she's willing to tell me what's going on with her and the others, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't know. . .

"Well, Jack, do you mind if I just tell you I have my own for now? I'm sure I'll have to explain myself later, but i may send me into an attack anyway, so you should know how to get someone out of one." She said. Not the answer I was hoping for, but it did show a bit of trust if she was willing to tell me one day. . .

"Yeah Lizzie, that's completely fine. I don't want to push you." I said, hoping we could start the lesson now, she seemed very . . . Relieved, by the fact I let it go.

"Okay, so you need to know the person that you are trying to calm down," She started, " You have to know what they find comfort in, and figure out what triggered the attack. It really depends on what triggered them to calm them down, and that's why panic attacks are scary. Half the time, even the person experiencing it doesn't know why it's happening." That makes life difficult, doesn't it? I have no idea what could trigger her, we all walk around her like she's broken glass, I've got to figure out what's happened. I know the boys left her, and that her dad was terrible. But I feel like there's something else wrong.

"Anyway, Alex needs contact, I noticed because it's how he tried to calm me down, physical connection is important to him, and he loses track of his heart beat when he panics, showing him how to feel a pulse helps him calm down. Panic attacks make you feel. . . For lack of a less cliché, and morbid way to put it, it feels like you're dying. It feels like nothing's ever going to be okay again. It feels like and literally is, losing control over any, and everything going on in your body. It's hell, and it's worse when people just stare at you like you're a freak. So if you can't help, don't just stare, go and find someone who can, or someone who can at least pretend to be able to deal with it." She said. She sounded angry, like she had been through them too many times, without help, or anyone giving a shit afterwards. We have a lot of work to do. . .

Lizzie's Pov

I have no idea where the confidence has come from, but if it could stay, that'd be great. I hope Jack doesn't freak out when I tell him what's happened. I genuinely hope that they won't be mad if I lecture them. They're bringing me close to my breaking point. . . I cant be the reason one of my favorite bands breaks up. . . I may have been mad at the boys but, I always supported them, they saved my life more than once.

"Alright." I sighed, he asked for this. " I guess you want an explanation then."

"Please Lizzie, you don't have to. . . I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but i want to be able to help!" He said, raising his voice slightly. I flinched, and automatically felt bad, as he stepped back. Maybe. . . He needs a hug? I feel like I can trust him, and if he tries to hurt me. . . I've learned how to protect myself. I ran at him, as he was still just within the doorway, and squeezed him with all of my might. He didn't hug back immediately, because i had caught him off-guard, but he quickly hugged me back.

"Lizzie?" I heard from the outside the door. Jack must've hit it with his back when i jumped on him. "LIzzie! Are you okay? Jack what've you done?" The voice said, Id since realised it was Rian. The door flew open, and then he saw that Jack was holding me and I had my arms wrapped around him. He just smiled really big and walked away.

Wait wasn't he supposed to . . .

"Jack, I promise in like 10 minutes I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but you need to tell me where Zack's room is, it's important!" I half yelled, struggling out of his arms.

"It's down the hall first left, across from the bathroom, why?" He was confused. . . How did he not notice?

I didn't respond, I just ran.

Right, right, bathroom! I knocked twice to signify I was coming into his room, and then opened the door. And I saw something, that I hoped I would never see. . .

No no no no, he can't, not this badly. . . Not this much!

"And just what the actual hell happened to you? Who beat you up more? Alex didn't hurt you this bad! I'm going to kill Rian!" On Top of the bruises, and even bloodier nose that before, he had scars up and down his arms and thighs, most likely his stomach as well.

"Liz," I flinched. He has to stop calling me that. "Don't be mad at Ri, I deserved it, he didn't even do anything. . . He just let Alex back into my room. I guess he didn't feel bad anymore. . . He didn't say it was my fault this time though, he just said I had hurt you, and it was the last time he was going to do this because he felt he had to, but he didn't want to." I can't believe these boys. I'm not special, they shouldn't be hurting each other over anyone, let alone me! I was seething at this point.

"And why, dear brother, did Rian let Alex in here to injure his boyfriend, and what did he do whilst this was happening?" Zack's face changed to one of shock.

"He's not my boyfriend! And Alex said he just wanted to talk, and that he'd watch me. I heard the bang from your room and went to check on it." He said. Not his boyfriend my ass. . . These boys I swear

"Get the boys downstairs, all of them, and don't clean yourself up or explain what's happened okay?" I whispered. I felt like crying. . . They're falling apart and it's your fault. They probably just were adopting as a publicity stunt anyway. . . They aren't evil fuck off.

I walked down stairs and sat on the couch. . . Damn this is gonna be difficult.

Hey guys, constructive criticisms or any ideas are appreciated.

~Alex