This was a Mistake...

Double shit.

I began pacing my room again. I just kissed her. I just fucked up her relationship. I just fucked up our friendship.

I need to talk to her. I walked down to her room and knocked. I could faintly hear her crying. Most people would've walked away, but I'm not most people. I mean I just kissed someone who is in a relationship.

She opened the door with her makeup running. "Hey, Anna. Could we talk? I need to explain a few things..." She nodded and tried to hide the tears. You can't hide your emotions from me Anna. It never worked and it never will.

I walked past her and sat on her bed.

"Anna, I'm sorry I kissed you. I'm so so so sorry. I-I don't know what came over me, please forgive me."

She shook her head at me. "Addie, I was never mad. I'm just... Confused. I mean, when you kissed me, it didn't bother me. I liked it. But I'm married to Mckayla. I can't cheat on her. I don't know what to do."

I pulled her into a hug and tried my best to calm her. She was shaking and crying and I couldn't help but feel like it's my fault. I can't stand seeing her upset.

We need to figure this out, before we both do something we regret.

~~~

I woke up in Anna's bed. Looks like I fell asleep in here after last night.

Where is Anna though? She should be in here. I shrugged and got out of her bed, stretching and headed downstairs.

"Damn you missy." I mumbled to my baby girl. I can't see my feet nor can I see the steps.

Let's hope I don't fall.

"Good morning." I called once I got down to the kitchen where Mickie was making food.

"Hi..." She said. I glanced at her as I got apple juice out. "What's wrong?" I asked. She shook her head, "Nothing." "Okay..."

"I'm gonna go back upstairs. Bye." I said and left.

Heading into my room, I shut the door and plopped down onto my bed.

A little nap can't hurt... I know, I just woke up and now I'm taking a nap. Oh well.

~~~

"Addie!" Anna yelled. I shot up and pulled her towards me, bawling. "Honey, what happened?"

I wiped the tears away and told her, "I had a dream... It was right before he left to serve... I was super mean and now that's the last thing we have. My baby girl is never going to met him. She's never gonna know what it's like having him around. Jackson is never going to forget what happened. And... I can't be this strong all the time. I can't do this by myself."

She pulled me closer, "Addie, you don't have to do it by yourself. I'm here. Always. As for Jackson, he'll get better as time goes on. No, he's never going to forget it, but he will learn how to talk about it and it won't hurt. And for your baby girl, pictures, videos, stories, letters. She will never get to meet him, no, but she'll learn what he was like through those things. You are never alone. Not with any of this." She said.

I looked at her and she wiped away the tears that fell.

We need to tell Mickie.

But maybe keeping a secret is best for right now.