This was a Mistake...

Why Are You Still Here?

*TRIGGER WARNING*

ANNA'S P.O.V.

after I cleaned up the kitchen and watched as Addie cleaned her own plate, I went outside for a little bit. 

I needed time to myself for a bit and being outside was the easiest option. I knew Addie had a doctors appointment today, and I knew she wanted me to go with, so after a while of sitting outside I went upstairs to get ready.

As I walked into the bedroom, I heard my phone ding, signaling I had a message. 

Mickie... 

Hey, Anna, I know that we aren't really talking, but I wanted to say that I still love you, and I realize how stupid i was to cheat on you. I realized what I lost, and god was I stupid. I know it was wrong, and I thought Thomas was the one I wanted. I thought that he was the one I loved, but then when you got into the accident, I realized that it's you I'm longing to have hold me. I want the same experience that we had when I was pregnant with Rain. You were so loving and goofy. And when you saw the photos or heard Rain's heartbeat, your eyes were full of admiration, it was incredible... So, I was wondering... Would you take me back? Please answer ASAP. xoxo. 

Anger immediately flooded through me. She thinks she has the... Audacity to text me and ask for me to take her back?

I texted her back, anger clouding my thoughts, but I didn't really care. 

First off, don't ever use Rain against me, because you know damn well that she isn't mine. She was the 'product' of you cheating on me. That being said, I love her more than you will ever understand. Secondly, it's not my fault you cheated on me. It's not my fault you left me. So to be quite honest, I don't care how you feel. Because you were the one who put yourself in that situation. Thirdly, no! I will not take you back! You got what you deserved. That being said, please stop texting me and calling me. I don't want you in my life, you already broke me, I really don't need it again. 

I hit 'send' and turned around, immediately heading towards my nightstand. I'm so sorry Addie.

I pulled out the knife I had there in case the house was broken into, and hesitated. Did I really want to do this? Did I have a choice?

Making up my mind, I slid it across my wrist and going to get a towel from the bathroom. 

I held it over the cut and got into bed, pulling the covers over me. I was tired. I knew I need to let Addie know... But... So tired...

ADDIE'S P.O.V.

I went back downstairs and called my mom, asking her to come get the kids. I didn't tell her why, but she didn't ask. I searched the downstairs for Rain and J, heading upstairs when I couldn't find them. 

"Jackson, Rain, when grandma gets here, go with her. Anna and I have some stuff to discuss. I love you and I hope you have fun with grandma," I told them when I found them in J's room. They nodded and went back to playing as  I went back to Anna. 

I checked her pulse, it was just barely there. I heard my mom pull up and heard the front door open before she was calling for them. I called the ambulance, telling them what happened and giving them our address. When I hung up, I pulled back the towel. 

"No," I mumbled. She had relapsed. Why? I knew she had an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety. I thought she was doing better, she was smiling more and laughing more like she meant it. Obviously I was wrong. But then again,  I should've known. As the EMT's arrived, I asked my mom if she would allow the kids to sleep over, getting an 'okay' from her in response. 

As they took Anna away, I started searching for clues of her depression, finding none. 

I noticed her phone on the nightstand, lighting up, signaling a message. 

MY message. I then noticed the recent message. From Mickie. 

Hey, Anna, I know that we aren't really talking, but I wanted to say that I still love you, and I realize how stupid i was to cheat on you. I realized what I lost, and god was I stupid. I know it was wrong, and I thought Thomas was the one I wanted. I thought that he was the one I loved, but then when you got into the accident, I realized that it's you I'm longing to have hold me. I want the same experience that we had when I was pregnant with Rain. You were so loving and goofy. And when you saw the photos or heard Rain's heartbeat, your eyes were full of admiration, it was incredible... So, I was wondering... Would you take me back? Please answer ASAP. xoxo.

Tears started to fill my eyes, before I read Anna's message to her. 

First off, don't ever use Rain against me, because you know damn well that she isn't mine. She was the 'product' of you cheating on me. That being said, I love her more than you will ever understand. Secondly, it's not my fault you cheated on me. It's not my fault you left me. So to be quite honest, I don't care how you feel. Because you were the one who put yourself in that situation. Thirdly, no! I will not take you back! You got what you deserved. That being said, please stop texting me and calling me. I don't want you in my life, you already broke me, I really don't need it again. 

I smiled. That's my girl. 

I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it out, seeing a message. Speak of the devil. 

Hey, can we talk later? I heard Anna hurt herself, and being her ex wife, I think I have a right to know what's going on. 

Okay, that pissed me off. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

No, we can't talk later today. Or any other day. You will not be informed. At least not by me. You are the ex wife for a reason. You can't go around saying you deserve information, when you don't. You made your mistake and that is your own fault. You caused this problem for yourself, so from here on out; stop talking to Anna and stop coming around, because you're only causing us both pain, and you aren't wanted anymore. And I'm not telling you that as her friend, I'm telling you that as her girlfriend. Now, goodbye Mickie. 

Since the bed need washed, I pulled the sheets off and threw them in the washer, tossing new ones on before laying down and going to bed. It's the only way I can calm down when I get angry. And I'm hoping when I wake, I get information on Anna.