Risk it all |L.T |

Chapter 47

Lily is her usual happy self, arriving at my apartment with pizza and non alcoholic wine, as always she makes herself right at home. God I've missed spending time with her.
We laugh and joke just like always, sing and dance around my living room like lunatics to what ever song comes on the tv, when we fall on to the sofa giggling she turns to me and suddenly goes all serious.
"So come on spill, what's going on with you?"
Screwing up my face confused "what?"
"Something is going on, I know you well enough to be able to tell when something's wrong and I know you said everything was fine after New York but come on level with me, what's really wrong?"

"There's nothing to tell, I've been run down and all the secrets with Louis haven't helped, I know you still think I'm crazy but you don't have to worry any more. It's over. Between me and Louis."
I'm not about to tell her I'm pregnant, as much as she's my friend and I want to, I have to tell Louis first, he has to know before anyone else.

"Oh shit Frankie I'm sorry, I know he wasn't my choice for you... Harry was, but hey that's nothing to do with me I know you liked him."
Liked him, I loved him, damn it I do still love him and it's tearing me apart what he's done, how could he do that to me when only days before he promised that he would always love me, was it all a lie. Was it all just words did they really mean nothing to him, do I mean nothing to him.
I can feel the tears building in my eyes, no I can't do it, I can't cry not anymore I have to be strong. For me and for the baby I'm carrying... His baby.

"Frankie, are you with me?"
"Yeah I'm sorry. I love him Lily, I've never been so hurt and so broken. It was fun to start with naughty and exciting we both knew it shouldn't be happening but we were drawn to each other. I've never felt like this about anyone, ever and now it's all such a mess."

As I blink the tears fall from my eyes again, I don't want to cry over him anymore, he's clearly not crying over me, he's busy with other girls. The thought alone makes me want to be sick, knowing his hands could be touching someone else's skin that they could be touching him, kissing him, being with him when it should be me.
As I try and shake the thoughts from my mind Lily leans over and pulls me into a hug.
"You deserve so much better than him." That's it her words are enough to send me over the edge as I begin sobbing uncontrollably, my whole body shakes as tears steam down my face.
"I hate him lily, I hate him so much for making me feel this way, for letting me fall in love with him and pulling it all away so quickly and in such a hurtful way."
"I get it, I really do but please don't let him break you down, you have me and Harry we're going to make sure you get through this."

We sit for the longest time, me crying, her constantly trying to reassure me that I'm going to be fine. As heartfelt as her words are all I can think is would she still have the same opinion if she knew about the tiny life growing inside of me.

By the time lily leaves it's almost 11pm she made me promise to call her tomorrow and even offered to talk to Mr Beaumont for me, as tempting as it is to let her, I have to do this myself.

***

Another 3 days pass still no word from Louis, I call him everyday and leave a message I hate how much he's avoiding me, I'd like to think it gets a little easier with everyday that passes, I'm still hurting and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to cope seeing him tomorrow, I haven't seen him since we spent the day with his family. I saw him in a completely different light that day, watching him play with his younger siblings seeing how much he cares for them. I gently place my hand on my stomach wondering if that's how he will be with this baby... His baby.
The boys all went back to work today they had some meetings and more rehearsals for the tour, I have to join them tomorrow. Harry has already refused to let a driver come and collect me, he's said he will be here to make sure I'm alright, ever since New York he's been amazing, he's always been a amazing so caring and thoughtful but now he's protective too.
He arranged the collection of my car and he's been to see me everyday along with calling every night. I honestly would be lost without him.